In an effort to gain my new book some more exposure prior to it’s release, I have arranged for a free giveaway for a few copies of it’s prequel!
Don’t miss out! Enter at GoodReads.com for your chance to win a free kindle copy of Drakin: The Orphans of Haven. Entries must be before May 27th!
Drakin: The Orphans of Haven
Book Synopsis:
The Red War may be over, but not all wounds have healed. For Sergeant Radley Zall, the nightmares never end. After years of struggling for survival, he finds himself in a dead end job, deporting wayward dragons to the Exclusion Zone. The horrors of his past have left him a broken man, slowing killing himself in a bottle of whiskey. It’s a wearying existence that many former soldiers have been subject to since the war ended, but for Radley, that is all about to change. Throughout his life, Radley’s hatred of dragons has been unmatched until one evening when a small one shows up on his doorstep. The pathetic creature is emaciated and begging for shelter. Her appearance reminds him of his younger self, compelling him to help her. That uncharacteristic decision forces him to confront his past actions— some of which may have contributed to a sinister plot to reignite the Red War and wipe out the few remaining dragons on Earth.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!
As Baltazar predicted, within two hours, the storm hit. Waves crashed over the deck and rain poured down on the crew. Though the ship was secured to prevent it from taking on water, they were still struggling to tie down the cannons on deck. The men had gotten the sails up and the cabins were secure, but a loose cannon could do serious damage.
Papi and Melisande were on deck trying to help out as much as they could. Mel stood with Gilles as they tried to push the number two deck cannon back into position. The cannon by itself was heavy and water crashing over it, made pushing it into place even more difficult.
Once the cannon was back on its blocks, Gilles reached out to Melisande, “Quick hand me the line and secure it!”
She struggled to reach him, but didn’t make it in time. The cannon broke loose and rolled forward, sending Gilles flying over the side. Melisande screamed, “Gilles! Man overboard!”
Every crewman who had already finished securing their lines ran to the side of the boat. Melisande watched as they tried to throw him a line, but the force of the waves crashing over his head made it impossible. His head disappeared beneath the surface every time a wave hit.
Melisande knew that he would drown if they didn’t do something quick. She called out to him, “Come on Gilles, swim, swim man!”
Another wave crashed over his head and she could hear him struggling to breath. Without thinking, she stripped off the vest that she’d been wearing, leaving only her shirt and undershirt on, and jumped overboard. Papi saw her and cried out, “Messy, no!”
He was too late to grab her as she jumped over the railing and plunged into the ocean. She swam towards Gilles as quickly as she could. It took all of her strength to reach him as the waves crashed over her.
Within moments, Melisande grabbed him by the arm and held him above the water. The dirt washed off her face and the hat that had protected her hair fell off. She pulled on Gilles as she swam, “Its ok, Gilles, I have you.”
Gilles opened his eyes and looked at her strangely, like he had never seen her before. They swam back to the ship where the crew pulled Gilles back on board and tended to him. Half drowned, he was taken down below to rest. He didn’t say anything and just lay there with a confused look on his face. As the men returned to their duties.
Meanwhile, Melisande was struggling to climb back on board. Baltazar had been called out to the deck and was watching as the group pulled his new cabin boy up. When she was finally up to the railing, two men grabbed her and pulled her over the side. She lay on her hands and knees coughing for a few moments before standing up. She was surrounded by crewmen and Papi was unable to get to her. Her clothing stuck to her skin, revealing her figure.
Gasps could be heard from the crew as they realized what she was. Baltazar’s eyes went wide and he pointed at her, “You there, stand fast!”
He then turned to the two sailors nearest to her, “Bring her astern!”
Papi began breathing quickly and struggled to get passed the crowd. Two sailors grabbed Melisande and brought her to Baltazar. He looked her over for a few moments and smiled, “Well, well, Melisande is it? I should have recognized you sooner.”
Melchior appeared next to them, “You know this woman captain?”
“Aye,” he replied with a wide grin, “she kept me from falling into a puddle of mud and I saved her from some local ruffians.”
Melisande stood in front of him with a defiant look on her face as Papi came up behind them, “Captain… sir, I can explain!”
Baltazar turned to his cook, “You can explain this Mr. Clement, I belive that I would enjoy such a story. Why is there a woman on my ship?”
Papi nodded, “Sir she lives at Mont St. Michel, she was an orphan placed in the charge of the church. She must have snuck out and travelled to Gransville.”
“I see…” Baltazar replied. “So you know this girl.”
“Yes sir,” he replied, “a long time now.”
Shouts errupted from the crew as one large man with a thick black beard and matching locks of hair called out, “Having a woman onboard is a black mark on a ship! I say we throw her overboard.”
Melisande reached behind her back with both hands and pulled out a pistol and a knife. She turned the knife on the large sailor and pointed the gun at Baltazar’s forehead, “No one is throwing me over the side!”
Scattered laughs came from the crew as she stood with her hands shaking. Baltazar narrowed his eyes, “Easy there Mel, where did you get that pistol?”
She breathed deeply, “I stole it from the hold, just in case something like this happened.”
The quartermaster came up next to Baltazar, “Sir, be careful, those pistols were loaded, I saw to that.”
“Well, looks you thought of everything Mel,” Baltazar said with a smile, “but I wonder, how do you intend to shoot me with wet powder?”
She looked at the gun and was about to respond when Baltazar grabbed it from her hand. Two crewmen grabbed her from behind and ripped the knife away from her. Baltazar shook his head, “It never work have worked anyway.”
He then turned to the quartermaster, “Put this back in the hold, and this time, see to it the weapons are secured.”
The quartermaster nodded and took the pistol, “Aye, aye sir.”
Baltazar turned back and looked at Melisande. There was a lot of worry in her eyes as she waited to hear her fate. He smiled as he spoke, “Our former cabin boy will have my cabin. We’ll set her ashore once we’ve completed our mission.”
A look of relief and gratitude came over Melisande’s face as the crew protested, “You would risk a black mark on us?”
Another crewman spoke up, “Aye, looks like the captain may have actually taken a shine to this tavern whore! I say we throw her overboard.”
Baltazar grabbed her, pulled her away from his men, pushing her towards the cabin, “And I say she stays aboard.”
Baltazar faced the angry stares of his men and drew his rapier, “Or would any man jack here dare challenge my orders?”
The looks on the crews’ faces turned from anger to fear. One by one, they slowly began to back away. Baltazar nodded as he put his sword away and stabbed the knife they had taken from Melisande into the mast, “No one, no one is going to challenge me? Disappointing… at least the tavern whore was willing to put up a fight, back to work, all of you then!”
The men grumbled as they returned to their posts. Baltazar snorted and turned his cabin. Melisande had already gone inside and shut the door. Baltazar opened it and walked in.
Melisande was sitting at his desk with her face in her hands. She was clearly upset. Baltazar pulled up another chair and sat down next to her. He grabbed a towel and began wiping her face to help her dry off, “Why the tears?”
“All I wanted,” She replied, “was a life of adventure. I was so tired of living behind the abbey walls. I wanted something more for myself. I wanted to find out about my family, where I come from, and who I am.”
Baltazar smiled, “So you escaped the abbey and came all the way out here.”
She nodded, “I was desperate to get away.”
“Was anything you told me about your family true?” Baltazar asked.
“My father wasn’t a blacksmith.” She said quietly. “I’ve spent most of my life studying and reading, that’s how I know so much. I was taught how by the church, but what I told you about them dying when I was young was true. I don’t even know my family name.”
Baltazar frowned, “I am sorry for you. I can sympathize, believe me. My family and I have a… troubled history. I haven’t spoken to any of them in years. My father denied that I was even his son. So I can understand what that’s like.”
She looked up at him, “More than anything, I was hoping to find some answers. There has to be evidence out there. I need to know where I come from.”
“Take it from someone who knows,” Baltazar replied, “sometimes ignorance can be bliss. If you keep this up, you may find out that you were happier before knowing.”
“It doesn’t matter… That’s all over with now isn’t it?” She asked sadly. “What do you intend to do, kill me?”
“Are you joking,” Baltazar replied, “you saved my best helmsman. In return I’ll give you safe passage to our next port. Once there, you can do what you want. If you want to try your luck on another ship, all power to you.”
Melisande nodded, “I thank you for that…. Captain.”
“You’re quite welcome,” Baltazar said as he got up and left the cabin.
Papi was waiting outside, “Captain, please don’t hurt her. She’s an innocent soul. I swear she never intended to hurt a fly.”
“Relax man,” Baltazar replied, “pull yourself together. I have no intention of harming her in any way. I swear it on my family name.”
Papi nodded, “Then please turn us around and return her to the abbey.”
“Put about?” Baltazar scoffed. “Have you gone mad? We’re out at sea. Going home now would not be good for business. I will set her ashore after our voyage.”
Papi looked at him concerned, “But where sir?”
Baltazar placed his hand on Papi’s shoulder, “Relax my friend, I promise you that she will be cared for. For the time being, just know that she is well protected in my cabin.”
Papi sighed, “Very well sir.”
“Thank you.” Baltazar replied. “Now return to your duties.”
“Aye, aye sir,” Papi said, not at all convinced that his captain wouldn’t defile her at the first chance he got.
Baltazar felt the rain begin to slow and looked up. The clouds were beginning to break and the storm was passing them by. He smiled and turned to the helmsman that had replaced Gilles, “Steady as she goes, helm! We’ll beat this storm yet!”
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
I have a manuscript I want to send out to see if I can get it published, but I’m worried that they’ll take one look at it, find a couple of grammatical/spelling errors and dump it in the garbage.
I was wondering what measures you’ve taken and what you’ve done before you hand you’re book off to be published?
Thanks, Mike
Hi Mike,
Are we talking about searching for literary agents or do you already have an agreement with a publisher and you’re handing your book off to a publishing editor? HUGE difference here.
Editors when you’ve already got the deal tend to be a bit more forgiving as it’s usually their job to make the book look professional. So while I certainly wouldn’t send them a first draft because of the angry emails I’d get in response, I wouldn’t need to go through the same motions I would with a literary agent or a publishing agent for the first time.
So I’m going to assume that this is a first time manuscript pitch to either a publisher or agent, because that’s a bit more involved. So getting this right and making your manuscript look as professional as possible CANNOT be understated. So here is the process I follow when I write my books. I’m going to add in a step or two just to ensure you get the full scope of editing.
Get your ideas on paper: This step is obvious. Get everything out, get everything down on paper. It doesn’t need to be coherent or in order at this point. If you’ve got some great ideas, there’s no need to write them down in the linear format. Get them down while their fresh and worry about making sense at this point. Get them out, get them on paper, and see if they’re everything you thought they were in your head.
Organize your thoughts into a flowing story: Once you have everything down on paper, get them organized and form a linear story. Cut out what doesn’t make sense. Get your story together into a draft. This is where you’re going to work on your narrative, character development, and plot.
First Rewrite: So by now, you should have your rough draft. This is the first place people tend to make mistakes. You send this to a publisher or agent, your chances of getting it published are… well, none. Read through your manuscript. Add more detail to the story, paint each scene with lavish detail to immerse your audience in the world they’re experiencing. Be careful not to overdo it. Make sure to leave some thing to your readers’ imaginations or else you’re going to bore them very quickly.
First Draft: Okay, so now you’ve got your first draft. I’d re-read it at this point, make as many corrections as you can. Make sure the story makes sense and has a coherent plot. Run through as many corrections and edits as needed. Rewrite any part that doesn’t make sense and remove any plot points that aren’t needed.
Spell check: Yes, yes, I know… The spell check feature in most word processing applications is weak sauce, but right now, we’re not looking to make the damn thing look professional. Just make sure everything makes sense, you have plurals where you need them and your “there’s” and “theirs” are in order.
Alpha reader: Okay, find someone to read your manuscript. One or two people here will suffice. MAKE SURE THEY KNOW THAT THEY’RE NOT MAKING SPELLING/GRAMMAR corrections or they’ll be there all day and you’ll be in for a headache. All you want here is feedback on the plot and narrative. Make sure that the STORY makes sense and is engaging. We’ll worry about making it scholarly later.
Second draft: Okay, so now your story makes sense. You’ve got your ducks in a row for story, you’ve got your narrative and plot. Perfect! You’re getting there. Now, I’d reread the book and fluff it out a little more. Add in whatever else you need.
Second round of editing: So at this point, your story should be taking shape. So the first thing I’d do is once again run the spell check. Once that’s done, run your story chapter by chapter through Grammarly. If you’re not familiar with this app, it’s a wonderful advanced version of the standard spelling/grammar check. It makes you look… reasonably professional? It’s not perfect, but it’s very damn good. The free version is fine, though I’d recommend shelling out for a subscription while you write. Either way, just make sure that each chapter is error-free before moving on to the next.
Third draft: By now, you should have an air of confidence about you. Your narrative and plot work. Your story is all there, and already it looks somewhat professional… sort of. Anyway, the next thing I’d do is utilize MS word’s text to speech function under the editing menu. Adjust the speed so it sounds… reasonably human. Remember, there is a lot of truth to the idea that something sounds good in your head, but not so much aloud. Listen carefully as the software reads your book to you. Does a sentence not sound right? Do you use the same pronoun twice in close proximity? Now’s your chance to catch it. This function is a HUGE help. If you don’t have it available. Find someone willing to… read it to you. (Yeah, this will look silly, but…)
Beta readers: Get two to three people to read the book for you. Writing circles on Goodreads.com or other writing groups are a great way to find people to help with this, just be prepared to give a little feedback as well. Take their advice, not only when it comes to plot, but also spelling, grammar, and sentence structure.
Final draft: Read through it one last time. Put everything together and nip off any final bits of spelling grammar mistakes. I’d recommend going through it with Grammarly and then the text to speech app one last time as well.
Now you should be ready to and have a book that looks reasonably professional. One final piece of advice… after everything is said and done, make sure you’re satisfied with your final manuscript. This is what’s going to be representing you to publishers and agents. Make sure that, after everything you’ve done, it’s still the story you want to tell. If not, you may want to consider starting from scratch… as much as that stinks.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
Note: If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!
Okay, so it looks like I’m still getting a lot of publishing questions. These are recurrent questions I get on a regular basis, and while I want to try to respond to everyone who reaches out to me, I don’t want my blog becoming redundant. So I think I’m going to repost this on a weekly basis from now on to help people navigate the publishing world. I don’t really see another way around it.
So if you have questions regarding publishing, PLEASE check below to see if any of this helps you before reaching out. I’m always happy to help, but I may have already answered your question.
Publishing is a tough road to navigate. Please check out the links below. These are previous posts I’ve made about the ins and outs of publishing. They should be of assistance in your journey:
Am I Ready To Publish? This is a must read BEFORE even considering starting the process. I can’t tell you how many authors burned bridges by not being ready.
Getting Published… the basics… In this post, we explore traditional publishing vs. self-publishing. Here you’ll get the pros on cons of each and the steps you need to go through in order to be successful in either.
Finally…
Copyrighting my Writing. Am I Protected? This isn’t required reading… however, if you’re concerned about plagiarism, or in the future may need to file a copyright claim, I recommend giving it a read.
Feeling overwhelmed yet? I’d be surprised if you didn’t. The only sage advice I can offer you other than the documents above is simple…
Do not give up. A million “No’s” suddenly become irrelevant if you get that one “yes”.
People will tell you that everyone and their mother wants to publish a book. You’re up against insurmountable odds and a flooded market. This is false. You’re not up against everyone and their mother. Permit me the luxury and I’ll prove this mathematically: First of all, take the entire group of people who want to get published. Now take that number and reduce it by roughly 60%. You just eliminated all the people who want to get something published, but don’t have the time, ability, drive, or inspiration to write. Next, eliminate another 20%. You’ve now taken down all the people who can put pen to paper but can’t afford the time/money to put the work into advertising and getting published. Eliminate another 10% who can’t take criticism and thus aren’t going to be able to get their writing properly edited. Now eliminate another 5% either don’t have the patience for or get discouraged by receiving a series of “No’s” from publishers.
Now take that last 5% and eliminate all of them, except you. Why? Because they’re irrelevant. You have your writing and they have there’s. Whether or not you get published and how successful you are isn’t about other people’s writing. Yes, in the end, it’s you against one person, you. Whether or not I’ll ever get to buy your book off the shelf depends on you; how much time, effort, and funds you’re willing to put into your writing. So make it good!
Let’s open it up to the floor. Readers, do you have any publishing advice for our friend here? Let her know in the comments!
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!
I know I’ve said this before about bands, but in this case… this MAY be the last Amaranthe track I post. Amaranthe fans have long quarreled over whether the band is trying to be pop, metal, or something in between. This album, while great, is arguably the least metal of the bunch and honestly is starting to sound more like something you’d hear from Miley Cyrus, Pink, or an R&B artist. The harsh vocals seem to be getting less and less time as each album comes out… so I think we have our answer.
There are just so fewer songs on this album that are actually enjoyable compared to it’s predecessors.
That being said… Endlessly… This is almost everything a power ballad should be. The vocals are strong, the blaring guitar solos are incredible, the lyrics are moving, and honestly, if this song doesn’t evoke a strong emotional response… check your pulse, you might be dead.
It’s not completely perfect though, while Elize really shows just how powerful her voice is in this song, I would have held that last note for longer and have it be accompanied by percussion… I know, I know, that’s an old-school trick that we see in many MANY musicals, and ballads, but it would have worked there.
When to listen: Admittedly, I just added this song to my playlist, so I’m not really sure where it will become relevant just yet. However I could see this being worked in as the theme to either a love story or even a tragic romance. Listening to this song, I thought of one of two of the saddest scenes I’d ever written. I invite you to turn on the song while you read these:
From Soul Siphon:
The beam dissipated, leaving Corban in his original form. Sunlight poured into the massive chamber from the surface as he breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Mary, who had finally let go of him, “It’s over, we won!”
Horror overtook Corban’s world when he saw what had happened. Mary was lying on her back looking at him. Her face had gone pale and her hair was fading to match. She was aging at an accelerated rate, “I know we did… you kept your promise.”
“Mary what happened?”
Mary smiled, “I don’t know how, but the rush of energy drained me of the power Adramelech gave me. When you expelled all that power, it dragged my immortality with it.”
“You saved me…”
“Least I could do, yeah?”
“No…”
Xaphine watched from afar as Johnny and Vlad ran over to her, “Mary, no… vat happened!”
Corban looked over at Vlad with tears in his eyes, “She’s dying!”
Mary’s red hair slowly turned white. She reached up to Corban and wiped away the tear that was making its way down his cheek, “No crying, yeah? You kept your promise to me. I couldn’t ask for any more.”
Corban’s breathing intensified as he channeled the energy to his hands again. Vlad looked at him oddly, “Vat are you doing?”
“My power stole her immortality, maybe I can give it back!”
Corban held his right hand over Mary’s head and forced the energy from his hand, creating a force field around her. It flickered for a moment and then disappeared. He tried again with the same result.
Xaphine frowned, “It won’t work.”
“How so?” Corban demanded. “Adramelech’s power gave her this immortality, it can do it again!”
Corban tried a third time, this time holding his power in check. This time, instead of a pulse, his energy formed a beam that shot from his hand and quickly engulfed Mary’s body. It was far brighter than the previous attempts.
Mary lay back with a content look on her face. She was certain that his efforts wouldn’t be enough to save her, but she was happy in that he cared enough to try. Being wanted was a feeling that she’d all but forgotten about.
Corban clenched every muscle in his body. He was in intense pain as the energy drained from his being. Beads of sweat formed on his skin as he pushed. The pain quickly overwhelmed his senses and his hand began to tremble to the point where he was unable to direct the beam correctly. The field around Mary slowly faded away just as the others had.
Corban slammed his fist on the ground, “Damn it, no!”
Mary reached up and touched his face, “It’s okay hero, you tried. It’s okay.”
“That’s not good enough.”
Mary’s hair was almost completely white now. Corban leaned forward and kissed her deeply for as long as he could. When he finally pulled away to catch his breath, Mary could see that tears were pouring from his eyes. He knew that there was no way to save her, “I’m sorry…”
“You did everything you could.”
Scars appeared on her face as she continued to age, “Corban… look away… remember me as I was. I don’t want this to be your last image of me, please.”
Corban held her close, and closed his eyes. Mary looked over at Johnny, “Look after him for me, yeah?”
Johnny lowered his eyes, but did not respond as Mary’s skin ripped itself apart and she began to revert to how she looked after she had been murdered. She released her last breath as the skin on her face was peeled away and her wounds reopened. A second later, her body turned to dust. There was nothing left for Corban to hold on to.
Corban looked down at the small piles of dust on the ground around him, “I love you too…”
From Damnation:
Once Piero had positioned himself against the rock, he used what strength he still had and called to her, “Xaphine, I’m over here! This way!”
Xaphine’s head jerked to the side as she heard his voice. Her heart jumped and she ran towards the sound. Nothing could stop her now that she knew where he was.
Piero saw her appear out of the darkness as she ran toward him. Her eyes darted back and forth until she saw him lying on a rock. She quickly sprinted to him and knelt down.
Tears filled her eyes as she saw how badly injured he was “Piero, my love… my sweet husband…”
Piero smiled at her, “I’m glad you’re here now, at the end.”
“Don’t talk like that, this isn’t the end, it can’t be! You can’t die on me! You went through too much to get me back. You fought so hard, you can’t die here. The Piero I married wouldn’t give up this easily.”
“I fear I don’t have much choice… I can feel my heart beat slowing.”
Xaphine’s breathing increased as she could see Piero was fading fast. He had held out long enough to see her face again, but his strength was almost gone. As he laid his head on the ground and closed his eyes, Xaphine became frantic, “Yes you do, come on fight it!”
Francesco came up behind them. Because of his advanced hearing, he could sense Piero’s heartbeat slowing, “Xaphine… we’re losing him…”
“No, shut up!” She yelled with tears falling down her cheeks, “This isn’t happening! I won’t let it.”
Xaphine pulled Piero’s armor off and tore open his tunic, exposing his chest. She then closed her eyes to center herself, slapped her hands together, and rubbed them until they started glowing yellow in color. Her eyes also began to glow as she prepared what little power she had left.
Francesco’s eyes narrowed as he heard a low hum coming from her hands, “Xaphine, what are you planning on doing?”
“I still have one shard of divinity left to me. I’m going to use it to transfer my life energy to him. It should keep him alive long enough to heal.”
Francesco stepped forward, reaching out for her, “Your life energy?”
“It’s the living spirit within me. If I can transfer a portion of it to him, it may be enough to save him.”
Francesco wasn’t sure he liked this idea, “But won’t that damage you?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen anyone do this before. It’s a forbidden art. If I use too much though, it will most likely kill me.”
Francesco’s eyes widened, “Xaphine you can’t do this. Piero would not want you risking your life. He fought for you out there today!”
“I know that, but what life is there for me without Piero? I know it’s selfish, but I will not let him die. Death holds no horror for me if the alternative is a life without him and then an eternity in the well.”
Xaphine’s hands glowed brightly as she placed them on Piero’s forehead and chest. She gasped and breathed heavily as the energy left her body. It was painful, but she didn’t care. Nothing could compare to the void that would be left in her chest if he died.
Once Piero’s body stopped convulsing from the impact, she could see that her effort had not changed anything. Piero was still dying. Xaphine shook her head in panic. She rubbed her hands together again and slammed them down on to Piero, “Come on, damn you!”
Francesco could hear the worry in her voice as she spoke, “It’s not working… come on Piero!”
“Breathe!”
Tears began to fall from her eyes as she tried two more times, “Come on, don’t leave me Piero… please!”
The pain was becoming too much for Xaphine. Her wings spread as far as they could and her skin was drenched in sweat. Her breathing became more labored and it became more and more difficult for her lungs to accept air. The world was also beginning to blur while her energy escaped.
As Xaphine continued to pound Piero’s body with her own life-force energy, her skin began to go pale and her hair started showing white lines that became more numerous with each blast of life. She saw what was happening but did not care. Her hands slapped together again and again she hit Piero’s body.
Francesco could now hear only one heartbeat; Xaphine’s. Much to his dismay, it was now also slowing to a halt. Desperate to end this, he put his right hand on Xaphine’s shoulder, “Stop… it’s too late, he’s gone. If you keep this up any longer, it will kill you.”
“Shut up, shut… up!” She screamed, her eyes now bright red. “Do you think I care? As I said, I would rather spend an eternity in the Well of Souls than dwell here without him! It is not too late, it can’t be. – Breath!”
Xaphine slapped her hands together again. Each time she did this, the glow on her hands dimmed slightly. Her skin was now a ghostly white, she was impoverished, and her features had withered. All that was left was little more than a skeleton as the life force drained from her body. The lines on her face made her almost unrecognizable and her eyes were shaded as though she had not slept in years.
“Breathe!”
Francesco listened helplessly as her own breathing became more and more labored. Sorrow filled his heart as he listened to yet another friend dying, “Please Xaphine, do you think that Piero would want this? You need to stop! He would want you to live!”
Xaphine ignored Francesco’s pleas as tears rolled down her cheeks. She breathed heavily as she brushed the snow white hair from her face and rubbed her hands together one more time. As she slammed her hands down on her husband’s lifeless body, she let out a loud grunt. Her heart rate had slowed to a crawl and it had become almost impossible for her to draw a full breath.
“Breathe!”
No longer possessing the energy to hold herself up, she collapsed on to Piero’s chest sobbing. Her husband’s skin was no longer warm and soft like it was when he first touched her. Laying her head over his heart could not sooth her anymore and her life was all but spent. She was a corpse. Though still breathing, her body was already dead. There was no going back.
“Please… breathe…”
Francesco shook his head as he sat down behind them, “How could it have come to this? We did everything we could. Xaphine has been saved, Lucifer has been destroyed, and we even made it back in time to warn the Republic. Oh Lord, have we done something to anger you in some way? This does not seem just.”
Xaphine shook her head, “It’s no good…”
She slowly released her breath, convinced that her body wouldn’t accept many more, “I’m so sorry, my love… you were so strong for me. Even when I told you there was no hope, you refused to listen. You were stubborn and kept fighting. You did all that for me… you were magnificent, but I don’t have the power left to save you…”
Francesco felt tears fall from his eyes at hearing such sad words, “Xaphine… I’m… sorry.”
Xaphine shook her head as she weakly turned to Francesco, “You’ve been most kind to us. You gave my husband hope, and gave me back my happy life. You have nothing to apologize for.”
She sucked in a deep breath, “This is my punishment. My arrogance and ambition… I thought being damned to the underworld was as bad as things could get, but that was nothing compared to the torment I face now. The Most High must have known this would happen. He would have known that eventually I would see the light… that I would find happiness, only to have it ripped away from me. He must have…”
Xaphine looked up into the night sky. The streams of tears on her cheeks sparkled in the moonlight, “Lord Most High, what more do you want of me? I understand now… I get it, you win. I was such a fool and I accept responsibility for the mistakes I made. Why take him away when he has done no wrong?”
Xaphine lowered her eyes and clasped the gem on her chest, “Were you hoping that I would suffer? Was that your plan?”
Her eyes once again looked up at the stars as she screamed, “Well it worked! I’m hurting now, worse than ever. You’ve made your point. Please, take my soul… commit me to the Well, or if you would prefer, allow Dēofol to torment me for all eternity, but please give Piero back his life. It’s not fair for you to punish him to further torment me. All he wanted was to bring back the one he loved. You mustn’t consider that a sin!”
Silence.
Xaphine waited a few more painful moments. When no response came to her weak voice, she shook her head slowly, “You’re still not willing to compromise? Then forgive me, my lord… I beg your indulgence, but I must defy you one… last… time…”
Xaphine touched her husband’s cheek and kissed him, “Piero, my husband… I love you.”
She rubbed her hands together again. This time, only one hand glowed and it was very dim, “One last drop… all I have left to give… for everything you’ve given me…”
Francesco shook his head, “Xaphine, please… don’t do it…”
Xaphine ignored Francesco and raised her hand to Piero’s chest. As she was about to force the last bit of energy she had into his lifeless body, she kissed her husband’s cheek again, “Goodbye… my love…”
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
Just another quick status update! The softcover proof arrived and has been approved. Everything looks superb. We’re still waiting to see the hardcover, but it shouldn’t be long now. I’ll post another update when that has arrived.
Stay safe, stay frosty, and read a book!!!
“Tale of a Frozen Heart”
Blurb… “War always comes with consequences, many of which are not immediately apparent. The remaining dragons were allowed to integrate into human society, despite many underlying tensions. A recently discovered ability that makes dragons appear more humanlike has helped move things along. However, not everything is as peaceful as it seems.
Asher Cole is attending his final year in one of the many integrated high schools. Life is relatively mundane until he crosses paths with Taryn, a green-eyed girl who does nothing but make his life difficult. They wind up stuck working together on a science project. As he works with her, it becomes apparent that there is more to her than meets the eye.
A dark secret that even she doesn’t know could threaten the fledgling peace. Taryn’s dreams become haunted by a malevolent entity that is hell-bent on destroying her. Ash is in a race to save them both before they both lose their sanity. If he fails, she will not have the strength to prevent this unknown evil from wreaking havoc on the world.”
The projected release date of the book is May 25. So stay frosty! Releasing a new book never get’s old and I’m very excited for this one!
Stay safe, stay healthy, read a book!
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
Note: If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!
Well slap me silly, YouTube actually recommended a decent song. This is actually kind of close to Dragonforce… so Lady Dragonforce? Who cares, its good stuff.
When to listen: This is typically what I listen to when I drive. I love it. General playlist. It’ll help get the ideas flowing.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
So a few days ago I was reading a the original ‘Little Mermaid’ by Hans Christian Anderson. I was curious about the story after my boys took a liking to the Disney version. I won’t spoil anything for anyone, but I highly recommend reading the original. It is superior in every way to the lax character development of the Disney version.
Anyway, more on topic, the reason I bring it up is because the story is written in a very old form of storytelling. This is a narrative story. What does that mean exactly? Well it’s a story where the reader tells, instead of shows in many cases. Where in more modern times, things are shown through dialogue and action, these stories were loaded with much more description and close to no dialogue at all. The best example I could give would be a campfire story. When you’re around the campfire speaking your adventure, are you going to load it down with dialogue? Of course not, that’d just look silly. You’re going to talk out everything, including descriptions and character actions.
In modern literature, the golden rule is now ‘Show, Don’t Tell.’ To keep an audience engaged, you need to allow them to draw their own conclusions as to what’s going on, what characters are thinking, and much of the who/what/where. Narrative stories essentially deny the audience that, which is why they are often frowned upon in today’s market.
Does that mean that they are out of date and should no longer be used?
Well… yes, to a point. In more simplistic children’s literature where a child is only beginning to think outside the box, a narrative story is exactly what you want… unless you want your kid asking you a million questions during the story.
However in terms of adult stories… I’m afraid it’s something we rarely see any more. Would I say that they’re out of date? No… more like out of style. Don’t get me wrong, there are still plenty of narrative stories that keep my attention and keep me engaged, but they are often far in between. The best thing to do is enjoy them as you would any other antique. Though they may not be what they were, often they are still great stories worthy of remembrance. I just wouldn’t recommend writing a new story in this style.
When to listen: Alice Cooper’s music has always been brainstorming music for me and this song is no different. Listen when trying to come up with ideas. He also fits in well on the general playlist.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
I’ve been writing a novel for some time now, but it’s been a struggle. I’ve come on hard times recently with a friend. I’ve felt betrayed and hurt. The problem is that I’m afraid to write while I feel that way. I’m worried that it will affect my writing and change how the story goes. Do you think I should keep going or put it on the back burner until I feel better?
Thanks for any help you could provide,
Jaclyn.
Okay… well obviously you’ve got a lot you’re dealing with right now. The best thing I would do right now is find someone to talk to and get your frustrations out. If all else fails, you have my email. I’d be happy to talk to you further if you just need to vent.
Anyway to answer your question; I know a lot of people would tell you to put your writing on hold and pull yourself back together first. Get all your ducks in a row and then get back to work. It’s sound advice for certain.
That said, I’m going to break the mold here. I think you should continue writing. If there is one thing I’ve found from my writing is that striking the keys and putting emotion on paper is EXTREMELY therapeutic. You say that you feel hurt and betrayed… what would you give to be able to just put all of your inhibitions aside and let loose on the world? How grand would it be to just let everyone know how you feel and not be judged for it or have your reputation damaged?
That’s where writing comes in. Writing, like painting or sculpting, is an art form. The best art is the kind where you can feel the creator’s emotion and see their heart put into it. Now consider, what are the strongest emotions? Love is certainly one of them, as is joy, but then anger, fear, and hatred are also very powerful.
These are all human emotions, when it comes to your art, don’t fight them, embrace them! I invite you to go into a dark room some where, shut the lights out, lock the door, power up your computer, bring up your book, and let your emotions come to a head. Bring out all the anger, the hatred, the sadness, and the feelings of betrayal. Push them all to the surface and then start typing. (You may want to buy a cheap, expendable keyboard for this).
Pound away at the keys, Jaclyn. Take your characters in whatever direction your emotions take you. Don’t let up, don’t be merciful, DO IT! As a favor to me, do this. Then email me and tell me how you feel. I don’t care if you like what you’ve written, that’s what the ‘cut’ command is for, though I think you may be surprised with what you come up with. Regardless of whether or not you use what you’ve written, trust me, you’ll feel worlds better.
My other piece of advice would be to keep what you’ve written. Don’t delete it!!!!! Save it to another file if you choose not to use it and if those feelings come back to haunt you later, refer back to it. Read it again and use it as a release.
My thoughts and prayers for you today, Jaclyn. It will be all right, eventually, everything will be all right.
Best,
Jim
Readers, do you have any other words of wisdom for Jaclyn? Do you agree with my advice? Leave a comment below!
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me. jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 5 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
James Harringtons Creative Work 