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Destiny: Divinity’s Finale, Book 4, Chapter 1

Book 4

Dark Revelations

I

The next morning, Melisande woke up on the forecastle, once again sleeping on Baltazar’s shoulder. The last time this happened, her heart jumped and she panicked. This time, she didn’t move. She was comfortable and more relaxed. Baltazar was roused by her movements and smiled, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, though I wish it wasn’t so overcast.” she replied without moving.

Baltazar moved his legs as though he were preparing to stand up, “Forgive me, my lady… I should have put you back in the cabin last night. I’ll leave you be.”

“If you want,” Melisande replied softly, “but you don’t have to…”

Baltazar looked down at her, “You sure?”

She nodded, “I’m more relaxed right now than I have been in days. I know this has to end, but I would like it to last a little while longer… if you don’t mind of course.”

“I’m happy to oblige.” Baltazar replied. “Rest as long as you need to.”

As she nestled her head on Baltazar’s chest, she could hear the heart in his chest race when she closed her eyes. She was warm and completely at peace. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was all the time she needed.

The two were jolted awake by the grunting sounds of hung-over sailors returning from their night of debauchery. Baltazar stood up and smiled, “On deck you drunken pigs! We shove off at eight bells.”

Gilles put a hand to his head, “Please keep your voice down, Captain! My head be hurtin bad.”

Baltazar gave him a devious look, “Your ass is going to hurt a lot worse if you don’t man your station, Mr. Gilles!”

Gilles gave a sloppy salute as he headed for the helm, “Aye aye Captain…”

The rest of the men slowly boarded and headed to their posts. Baltazar shook his head, “No rest for the weary, men! All available hands to the braces, set top sails until we clear the harbor!”

The crew sluggishly came to life and got the ship moving. Within a few minutes, the cool sea breeze sobered them up and they worked like real seamen. The ship pulled out of the harbor and back into the Adriatic Sea. Baltazar nodded, “Full sail!”

He then turned to Gilles, “Thirty degrees to port, steer us north, northwest.”

Gilles nodded, “Aye sir!”

Gilles turned the wheel and the ship slowly responded by coming about. The wind hit the crimson sails hard as the ship pushed northwest. A few more hours passed as Baltazar watched Melisande up at the bow. If he didn’t have to worry about his ship, he would have been up there with her. There was an eerie silence covering the ship as they sailed closer to their destination.

Every eye on the ship was open, searching for some sign of the place they were looking for. Suddenly, the lookout called down to Baltazar from his post, “Land ho, directly ahead!”

Baltazar opened up his spyglass inspected the land that had appeared on the horizon. Papi had heard the signal and came up on deck. He saw Baltazar heading forward and followed behind, “Sir, I’ve sailed these waters before, a long time ago.”

Baltazar nodded, “Can you tell me anything about the land ahead?”

“Yes sir,” he replied, “It’s a narrow inlet, which runs all the way to the capital city. You might say it’s a barrier between the Adriatic Sea and the Laguna Veneta.”

“What do you suggest?” Baltazar asked inquisitively.

Papi took the spyglass from Baltazar and looked at the specific piece of land, “I would hold your course and pass through the barrier at the opening just south of that inlet. From there, navigate north, three degrees to starboard.”

Baltazar nodded and called to the back of the ship, “Gilles, hold your course. Get us through the pass into the Laguna Veneta.”

Gilles nodded, “Understood sir.”

Gilles held the ship steady on as she passed by the narrow inlet. Once they had cleared it and were safely into the Laguna Veneta, Baltazar looked back to Gilles, “Get us on a course, three degrees east.”

The wheel moved slowly as Gilles pushed it into position. The Black Vengeance turned and proceeded northeast. They held their course for another half an hour until the large island where the capital city was located appeared. Several small ships, mostly fishermen, could be seen on either side as they sailed into Venetian waters.

Baltazar stood next to Melisande on the forecastle and put his arm around her, “Welcome to the Kingdom of Venice.”

She smiled and was about to say something when they heard a cry from someone off the starboard bow. It appeared that one of the fishing boats was in distress. The man was calling out in Veneto, which no one onboard spoke, “You there, please, we need assistance! Please save us, our boat is taking on water.”

Baltazar shrugged, “Does anyone here speak Veneto?”

The crew all looked at each other sheepishly. Suddenly, Baltazar heard Melisande’s voice speaking it fluently, “We hear you, please be patient, we’ll come alongside!”

Both Papi and Baltazar looked at her strangely. She turned to him, “They need help. Their boat is sinking.”

Baltazar nodded, “Strike the sails, and bring us alongside.”

The Black Vengeance circled around them a few times to slow down before coming alongside the distressed fishing boat. Quickly, the crew pulled two waterlogged fishermen, including an elderly man, from the water. The first man nodded, “Thank God, you stopped. We could have drowned out here.”

Baltazar looked at Melisande, “What did they say?”

She nodded, “He said thank you.”

She turned back to the fisherman, “What happened to your boat?”

I regret,” the man replied, “Our boat has seen much neglect. The fishing around here has been somewhat poor for a while now.”

Baltazar noticed the old man staring at her oddly, “Melisande…”

When she turned her attention to him, Baltazar gestured toward the old man. Melisande noticed it and nodded. She turned back to the first fisherman, “Who is this elderly man out here with you?”

“Oh, he is my grandfather,” the fisherman replied, “His name is Venerio and he’s been out this way for years and no matter how old he gets, refuses to stop fishing.”

Melisande turned to Venerio and knelt down next to him, “Is there something wrong, good sir? Do you know me?”

Venerio looked at her with his aged brown eyes and fought out one word, “Adaline…”

Baltazar’s eyes narrowed, “Melisande, what is going on, who is Adaline?”

“These two fishermen didn’t have the money to fix their boat, which is why it was taking on water,” she replied, “and I have no idea who Adaline is…”

She turned her attention back to the old man, “Who is Adaline, good sir?”

“Forgive me,” he replied, “you look exactly like someone I knew when I was a boy.”

“Who,” she asked, “Who was it?”

The man hesitated for a moment before responding, “Just south of the capital city, there is a small fishing village, where I grew up. It was a fairly poor area, but we all got by. I remember there was this one family… beautiful people they were. Always willing to give whatever they could and then some to help those around them. The woman of the house, Adaline, she looked exactly like you. I probably wouldn’t have even remembered until I saw your eyes. She had the exact same ones.”

Baltazar had a confused look on his face, “What is he saying?”

“Shh,” Melisande responded sternly, “I think I may be on to something here.”

“Please Venerio,” she replied pleadingly, “Whoever these people are, they may hold the key to answering questions about my past. Who was this family?”

The man thought for a moment, “The family name was Patrice… no, it was Patrisi, I’m certain of it.”

Baltazar recognized the one word ‘Patrisi’ and turned to Melisande as she sat back, “Do they know them? Do they know the Patrisis?”

“Yes…” she replied, “he knows them…”

“Well that’s great,” Baltazar said, “will they help us find it?”

Melisande turned to him, “Offer a spare longboat.”

“What?” Baltazar scoffed, “That’s a high price for a seaman.”

“These people are in distress!” She insisted. “If we just bring them ashore, they won’t be able to fend for themselves.”

She looked Baltazar in the eye, “You keep saying you want to repay the damage your family has done. Please don’t disappoint me by stopping at words.”

Baltazar sighed, “Fine, make them the offer.”

Melisande’s eyes lit up and kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you!”

She then turned back to the two fishermen, “We’re prepared to offer you safe passage to land, as well as a boat in exchange for guiding us to their home.”

The two fishermen looked at each other and then back at her, “We would be fools to reject such an offer. We would have taken you there for a lot less, but we are grateful for your aid.”

The two men stood on the aft castle with Melisande and Baltazar as they guided them to the small community on the southern tip of the island. The Black Vengeance rounded a rocky cliff. On the other side, a small harbor came into view. There were multiple small personal docks, as well as a large one for the town.

The elderly man pointed to a rundown looking one far to west, “There… that is where you will find the Patrisi home…”

Melisande nodded, “Thank you… I am grateful for your help.”

Before they left, Melisande remembered one last thing, “Forgive me, but might I trouble you for a little more information?”

“Of course, milady.” The younger fisherman replied. “What do you need to know?”

“Have you ever heard of Night Island?” She asked.

Baltazar thought he recognized the words ‘Night Island’ but he wasn’t sure. The fisherman nodded, “I don’t know why you would want to go there, but it’s directly south from this cove… be wary of that place.”

“Why?” she insisted.

The fisherman hesitated for a moment, but responded, “The sun never shines on that island, hence its name. There are also rumors that an insane monster lives there.”

Melisande nodded, “Thank you for your help.”

“Farewell,” the fisherman replied, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

The men jumped into the boat that had been readied for them as it was lowered over the side. Once, the fishermen were clear, Baltazar turned to his men, “Bring up all sails except the top sails. This is a rocky area, I don’t want us running aground.”

Melisande joined him, “They told us how to get to Night Island too. It really is good fortune that we found such helpful people.”

“Good fortune…” Baltazar sighed. “I’ve always been told to be careful of such things. Often, they turn sour very quickly.”

Melisande frowned, “Don’t be such a cynic.”

**

Once the Black Vengeance disappeared from view, the younger fisherman turned to his grandfather, “You have done well old man, and I thank you!”

Venerio buried his face in his hands and wept. The younger fisherman smiled, “Thanks to you, my friend is getting closer to her destiny. Soon there will be no turning back.”

Slowly, the man knelt down behind Venerio, “Unfortunately, you’ve outlived your usefulness…”

Quickly, the young fisherman pulled a dagger out of his jacket, grabbed Venerio by the chin and stretched out his neck. In a quick flash, the man stabbed the knife into Venerio’s neck and cut along his throat. Blood spewed out in every direction as the old man fell limp.

The younger fisherman looked up, revealing bright red eyes that glowed as he looked towards the Patrisi home, “Soon my young friend… soon.”

Without another word, he vanished in a thick cloud of smoke.

**

The Black Vengeance rounded another formation of rocks. At the center of the small port the fishermen had sent them to, was a large rock formation poking up out of the sea. To their horror, when they got closer, Baltazar pointed out what appeared to be the wreckage of a large fishing boat. The hull had been smashed against the rocks and all that remained was a portion of the aft cabin.

At seeing the wreckage, Baltazar made up his mind, “No further, I won’t risk the ship, we row in from here. Drop anchor and lower the longboat.”

The crew went to work quickly to lower both the anchor and the boat. The sails were quickly tied up and the ship slowed to a halt. The crew got the longboat in position and lowered it into the water.

Baltazar climbed down the side taking Papi, Melisande, and Morgan with him. As they shoved off, Baltazar called back to the ship, “Take over, Mr. Gilles, you’re in charge until I get back.”

Gilles nodded, “Aye Captain.”

The men rowed slowly towards the shore. Melisande watched the boat on the rocks until the shore came into view. There was an old rickety pier that looked like it would collapse any day, at the end of which stood what looked like a lot of rubble. The overcast weather added a drery tone to the scene in front of her. She felt like she knew this place. It was something familiar to her, but it was also a source of sorrow. Waves of anguish rolled over her and she couldn’t figure out why.

As the boat neared the beach, she blacked out. Images flew through her head and shot in front of her eyes the moment the world disappeared from view. There was an angel with bandages wrapped over her eyes being questioned by a group of well-dressed men who were heavily armed. The tense scene was then replaced by an elderly priest, and a second angel with black wings.

More and more images flooded her mind. Images of people, who looked familiar to her, until suddenly she saw a large house that was in exactly the same place that they were approaching, explode into flame. She could hear the screams of at least two people echo in her mind and it finally brought her out of her trance, “No!”

Melisande fell over the side of the boat into the water. Her feet barely touched the ground as she pushed herself towards the shore. Baltazar jumped in the water after her, “Melisande!”

She continued to push with her arms and legs until she emerged from the water with a big splash. Not thinking, feeling, or hearing anyone, she ran towards the rubble. The look on her face was of complete panic.

Baltazar struggled to reach the shore and get to her. He could see her running frantically around the rubble, unable to make any sense of it. Tears were falling from her eyes as though she had just seen someone she loved get cut down right in front of her eyes.

Baltazar ran out of the surf and grabbed her, “Melisande!”

She fought back, kicking and trying to beat her way out of his grasp. The look on her face was of sheer panic, “No, mama, papa… please! God… please… not this.”

She collapsed in the sand crying. Her screams of agony were unlike anything he’d experienced before. He quickly dropped to his knees and held on to her as tightly as he could.

When Melisande finally regained control of her senses, she grasped a hold of Baltazar and would not let go. Baltazar could feel her fingernails digging into his flesh, but he did not care, “What is it Melisande?”

She sobbed for a few more moments before looking up at Baltazar. Papi and Morgan pulled the boat up on the shore and then Papi ran to her side, “Messy, are you okay?”

Both Papi and Baltazar were shocked to see her eyes turning bright red, “I… I can feel myself slipping away… the darkness is taking over. Stop it… please help me!”

Baltazar turned to Papi, “What is this, what is happening to her?”

Papi shook his head, “I don’t know… I’ve never seen her like this before.”

Melisande began to foam at the mouth as her eyes glowed brighter red. Baltazar shook his head, “She’s burning up!”

Desperate, he took off his wet shirt and dabbed her forehead to cool her down. She began shaking and the foam continued to drip from her mouth. Without thinking, Baltazar wiped her mouth and glared at her, “Melisande, stop this!”

He quickly crossed himself and kissed her. Her eyes closed and she stopped shaking. Her body temperature began to drop and her breathing returned to normal. She reached up and grasped the back of his neck, holding him in place.

Papi watched the whole thing and waiting with his heart in his throat. God…

Finally, the two released each other, allowing Melisande to take in a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, they were their original bright blue, but there were still tears falling. Baltazar took another breath and looked at her, “Are you okay?”

She grabbed a hold of Baltazar again, “I… I was born here. I saw the whole thing play out in my mind.”

“What happened?” He asked.

“Something…” She said with a shudder. “Something that can only be described as the physical embodiment of evil appeared and did this…”

Morgan looked over the rubble, “Whatever did this was thorough, ye wouldn’t be knowing this was a house just by looking at it. It be so badly demolished that no one bothered to rebuild it.”

“There was no one left to rebuild it.” Melisande replied. “It killed Mama and Papa… they were all that was left… it killed my family.”

Baltazar looked over at Papi, “Did you know anything about this?”

“No.” Papi insisted.

“Mr. Clement,” Baltazar replied sternly, “I’ll ask you one more time…”

Papi glared at him, “On my life, I had no idea that the church knew about this. I never would have kept it from her if I had. I was a simple cook at the abbey! Sister Mary never told me anything.”

“Enough,” Melisande yelled, “no one knew about this with the exception of Sister Mary and other people from the church. Most of whom are probably dead now, so there is no point in fighting about it!”

Baltazar helped Melisande to her feet, “Now there can be no doubt about it… I am the last of the Patrisis… that is my family name.”

Baltazar nodded, “Nice to meet you, Lady Patrisi.”

Melisande forced a half smile and looked up to Baltazar with a pleading look in her eyes, “I want to leave… there is nothing left for me here. I want to go and never come back…”

“Not a problem.” Baltazar replied. “Where do you want to go?”

“I… I don’t know.” She replied. “The fishermen warned me of an insane monster living on Night Island. It could be the one that killed my family. Would I be foolish to want to avenge them? Would it be wrong to risk subjecting myself to further tormet?”

“It is totally up to you.” Baltazar said in a calm tone. “If you want to go back to raiding ships, we can. If you want to go to Night Island, I will take you there, and no matter what you find, no matter what you have to confront, I will remain by your side.”

Melisande was touched by his words, “You really mean that, don’t you?”

Baltazar looked her straight in the eye and nodded, “Yes.”

Melisande threw her arms around Baltazar and kissed him. When she finally let him out of her grip, she smiled widely, “That, Baltazar, is what works for me.”



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

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Private vs. Public Profile #Writing #Author #Advice

Hi Jim,

 

So I’m published and like you, I have a blog with a fairly decent following. Over the past few months, I’ve gotten a number of friend requests to my personal facebook page. I’ve ignored them, but they keep coming and I don’t want to seem unprofessional. Do you have any advice on how to handle this?

Thanks,
Lindsey


Hi Lindsey,

I think it’s absolutely important to keep your personal and Professional space separate. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong by rejecting or ignoring these requests. My advice to you would be to create a separate account of author’s page on Facebook. You can take a look at mine on the left, for reference if you like.

I would link it to your WordPress and other social media accounts. Once done, I would lock your private Facebook page with the highest security settings and then make adjust your page so that you’re unsearchable. It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot more secure that way. I’ve had the same issue from time to time and it’s really the best way to handle it. I love interacting with my readers and fans, it’s what I really enjoy about releasing books.

However, my Facebook page has personal interactions with close friends and family and I prefer to keep that separate.

So anything you want to keep out of the public eye, you need to secure as best you can. It won’t be perfect, but that’s really the best thing you can do.

I hope this helps. Authors and readers, how do you handle issues like this? Do you interact with the people who send you friends requests?

Thanks,
Jim



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

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Destiny: Divinity’s Finale, Book 3, Chapter 5

V

 

Melisande woke up the next morning in the cabin of the Black Vengeance. There was another set of clothes waiting for her. A new blouse, vest, and trousers sat folded on the edge of the bed. While these weren’t as fashionable as the ones Baltazar left for her before, they would allow her to be feminine while at the same time functional. She quickly changed into the lighter clothes and made her way on to the deck.

To her amazement, the ship looked almost totally different. The hull had been painted black with a brown trim, and was now equipped with red sails. The name on the side and the back was painted in gold. The helm had been replaced with a brand new one with a shiny finish on it and the cannons had been polished. The crews were finishing up the deck repairs and moving on to the lower hull damage.

Baltazar walked up next to her as she emerged from the cabin, “How do you like the Black Vengeance?”

Melisande shook her head, “It’s like a whole new ship…”

“Don’t worry,” Baltazar replied, “it’s still the same one, I assure you.”

“So why all the changes,” Melisande asked. “She seemed functional as she was.”

Baltazar frowned, “Well for one, we’ve got two major powers coming after us, and for two, Jaspart was a rather cheap man. This ship was in desperate need of updating to more than just her armament.”

Melisande looked around with her eyes open wide, “Well I’d say you’ve done a splendid job, the ship looks completely different.”

“Well thank you,” Baltazar replied, “I’m glad she meets with your approval.”

Melisande’s face turned serious, “Baltazar… listen… about last night…”

“Yes?” Baltazar asked as he gave her his complete attention.

“What you did for me…” she replied hesitantly, “It was really sweet. You made me feel like I belong here.”

Baltazar smiled, “You’re one of us. You do belong here.”

“I know that now,” she replied, “and I appreciate all of you and your crew’s help.”

Suddenly, a panicked cry came from the yardarm, “Sail ho!”

Baltazar’s eyes narrowed, “What…?”

He looked up at the crow’s nest with an annoyed expression, “Lookout, of course you’re seeing sails, you’re in a harbor for God’s sake!”

The lookout nodded, “Sorry sir, should have been more specific… it’s the galleass sir, coming in directly astern.”

Melisande followed Baltazar as he franticly scrambled to the aft castle. He grabbed the spyglass as Morgan joined them. He looked through and saw the ship coming in, “This can’t be… we shook them off in the fog.”

He turned to Morgan, “What’s the status of the repairs?”

“All the external damage has been repaired,” Morgan replied, “We’re just replacing a few of the braces below deck.”

“Anything we can’t repair at sea?” Baltazar asked.

“No sir.” He replied. “The crew is all back aboard and we’re fully resupplied. The support isn’t a crucial one either. Replacing it will be easy.”

“Then release the mooring lines and get us underway.” Baltazar ordered. “I want full sail. Make it happen and make it happen now.”

Melisande looked at him worried, “But Baltazar, wouldn’t they be able to blow us out of the water the moment we passed through the harbor entrance?”

“They could, yes.” He replied. “That’s why we need to hope that all the work we did on our ship wasn’t for nothing.”

Baltazar turned to another nearby crewman, “Make sure the name on the back and sides are covered. I doubt they saw either, but you never know.”

The new sails came down quickly as the crew struggled to get the ship moving. Melisande looked in awe at the beautiful crimson color that now adorned the masts. The ship pulled away from the dock and moved out into the harbor.

Baltazar ran over and grabbed the helm from Gilles, “Go and help get this ship moving.”

Gilles nodded and disappeared into the chaos on deck. Melisande watched as Baltazar placed his hands on the helm gently as though saying, ‘It’s okay, I’m here now.’

The ship began to pull away from the dock as the wind caught her sails. Melisande grabbed on to the hand rail to prevent falling backwards as the ship picked up speed. As the last mooring lines were cast off, the Black Vengeance made her way out into the harbor. Melisande watched from the back of the boat as the beautiful city slowly grew smaller. Someday, she thought, I would love to come back here.

The Black Vengeance reached the cove where the harbor met the open ocean. Here, they came face to face with their pursuers. They got so close that they could see the name on the side Le Terrible. Baltazar and Melisande ducked down to get out of sight. They could hear the groans of condemned men rowing the opposing ship as they passed. The sounds seemed to pain Melisande as they passed by. The two crews eyed each other suspiciously as the Black Vengeance exited the harbor.

Jaspart looked at the ship suspiciously. It looked like his ship, but it couldn’t possibly be. It looked almost completely different and the idea that a pirate would waste so much time and money to alter a ship that much was ludicrous. Not wanting to alarm his already suspicious host with possibly false information, Jaspart kept it to himself.

Once they were in open water, Baltazar nodded and handed the helm over to Gilles, “Well now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Aye Captain,” Gilles replied, “but how could they have found us so quickly?”

Baltazar shrugged, “Sheer luck, or maybe their captain is a better tracker than I gave him credit. Either way, we’ve evaded them again, so I wouldn’t think too hard on it.”

Gilles nodded, “Not a bad idea, Captain.”

“Capitaine!” A voice cried out from the deck.

Batlazar turned to see that it was one of the original crewmen of the Black Vengeance, “What it is mate?”

“Monsieur, I can’t be certain, but I thought I saw our old capitaine over there.” He replied nervously.

Baltazar’s blood ran cold, “That’s impossible, I ran him through with my sword. I saw him fall over the side! He’s dead.”

The man shrugged, “I’m sorry, mon Capitaine, I’m just telling you what I saw.”

“I see…” Baltazar replied. “If it was him, that will complicate things.”

He thought about it for a minute before returning his attention to the crewman, “Thank you, crewman, back to your duties.”

The crewman nodded, “Oui, Capitaine.”

Gilles shook his head, “If Jaspart be on us, we’d best be putting some distance between us and them. I think I can coax a little more wind out of the sails.”

As he headed for the deck, Baltazar turned to Melisande who hadn’t moved since they passed by the Le Terrible. He came up behind her and looked out onto the ocean, “From here it should be about a weeklong voyage, weather permitting of course, but we should arrive in Venice before too long.”

When Melisande didn’t respond, Baltazar placed his hand on her shoulder and turned her around to face him, “Are you okay?”

Her face revealed an angered expression and tears in her eyes. Baltazar pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped the tears away, “What is it?”

“The Le Terrible…”she replied, “where do they get the men to row that ship?”

Baltazar’s lips twisted as he responded, “They’re usually condemned criminals, but they can also be captured enemy sailors and slaves.”

Melisande didn’t know how to react. She was teetering between rage and despair and both were easily seen on her face, “There must be at least a hundred people over there!”

“Aye,” Baltazar replied softly, “with replacements and such, I would think considerably more than that.”

“What a horrible thing to do!” She shouted, “What kind of a country would do that?”

“Pretty much any significant naval power,” Baltazar responded calmly, “Spain and France have done it on several of their ships. The thought is that it’s a much better way to get cheap, or in this case, free labor. Since most of those men were condemned to death, some would view this as merciful.”

Melisande shook her head, “A short time rowing might change their minds.”

“Probably,” Baltazar agreed, “but keep in mind, many of these men are there for a justified reason. Many of them are murderers and rapists who, in my opinion at least, belong there.”

She thought about it for a moment and nodded, “I suppose, but that doesn’t make it any easier to listen to.”

“No it doesn’t,” Baltazar nodded, “but there is very little we can do about it. Why are you so concerned for them, if I may ask?”

Melisande was about to respond when she stopped dead in her tracks. She had no idea why it bothered her so much. She’d read about the suffering of others, but it never impacted her like this, “I… I don’t know. I’ve never been like this before. Stories of atrocities never gripped me like this… Maybe it’s actually seeing it up close…”

“Or maybe you’re changing.” Baltazar added. “Whatever you did on the Specter may be affecting you in more ways than you know.”

“Maybe.” Melisande replied.

She quickly turned back to face the ocean and leaned back onto Baltazar’s chest for support, “I’m afraid, Baltazar… this is becoming dangerous.”

“What frightens you?” he asked.

She lowered her eyes, “Many things… If anything wer to happen to all of you, I don’t think I could forgive myself. You’ve all become dear to me in the short time that we’ve known each other. What am I risking just to find out what may be better off left a secret?”

“There is always that risk.” Baltazar replied. “In the end you simply have to decide what is easier to live with; the unknown, or knowing something bad.”

Melisande turned back to face him, “What about you?” She asked. “Would you be better off not knowing your connection to the House of Habsburg?”

Baltazar sucked in a deep breath and thought about it for a moment. Finally, he smiled and shook his head, “No, I would not be better off not knowing, because that knowledge made me what I am. I’m happy that I know who my father is, because if I didn’t, I couldn’t defy him. Knowing where I come from enables me to do what I think is right. I may be related to the Habsburgs, but they are not who I am. It’s because of that knowledge that I now stand before you in command of a mighty ship.”

“That’s true,” Melisande said thoughtfully, “and actually makes a lot of sense. Knowing who you are prompted you to choose the life you did. You realized that you didn’t have to be like the rest of them. You chose a life that you find fulfilling and makes you happy.”

“Exactly,” Baltazar replied, “a Habsburg may be what I am, but it’s not who I am, and in the end, what you are, isn’t nearly as important as who you are.”

Melisande nodded thoughtfully, “Yes… yes, that is very true! Thank you Baltazar, you are absolutely right.”

“Glad I could be of use.” Baltazar said cheerfully. “So the question now is what do you want to do? If you want, I can turn the Black Vengeance around and we can go back to raiding Spanish ships.”

“No,” Melisande replied adamantly, “if it’s okay with you and the crew… I would like to continue. Sister Mary and the good people at the abbey died to keep my secret safe. It would be a disservice to them to turn back now.”

“Good,” Baltazar said confidently, “I already spoke to the crew; they are all onboard with this so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Thank you.” She replied. “Thank you all.”

*

The next week passed by uneventfully for the most part. There was no sign of the Le Terrible, and most of the crew assumed that she was still patrolling the waters around Spain and France. The Black Vengeance kept to the coast as they sailed. The last bit of land they would see for days came into view when they passed through the Strait of Gibraltar.

Baltazar smiled as the land disappeared behind them, “Goodbye Spain.”

Within a few short hours, they broke loose into the Alboran Sea. By the next day’s end, they were in the Balearic Sea. By the third day, the crew sited Sardinia.

Melisande couldn’t escape the feeling that she had been this way before. The feeling grew stronger as they passed through the Tyrrhenian Sea and passed by Messina. There was some discussion about stopping, but they still had enough supplies to go on and decided against it.

By the fifth day, the crew was growing restless. Baltazar could see it in their eyes. They would never say such a thing out loud as they were men of honor and were loyal to Baltazar, but they were in need of a break. They hadn’t touched land in quite a while and most weren’t used to long voyages.

Less than a day away from Venice, Baltazar ordered his ship to put about in Ravenna to give his men a break. He divided up one of his shares from a previous voyage and sent the men on their way.  Gilles and Morgan departed together.

Baltazar stopped them at the walkway, “Don’t you two get yourselves into any trouble now, I want you back here tomorrow at high noon.”

Gilles smiled, “Aye Captain, don’t worry, I’ll get this old bastard back in one piece.”

“Like hell,” Morgan replied, “don’t be assuming that just because ye be younger then I that ye’ll be drinking me under the table!”

Gilles laughed, “Hey captain, why don’t ye come have a drink with us, like old times!”

Baltazar looked back to see Melisande staring off into the northern sky. She was alone and deep in though. It almost seemed like something was reaching out to her from the north.

Baltazar decided that it was probably not a good idea to leave her alone and shook his head, “Next time.”

Both men saluted as they left the ship. Baltazar shook his head and smiled as he walked the length of his deserted ship and joined Melisande on the forecastle, “Are you okay?”

She glanced back at him with a faint smile and nodded, “I can feel it… the land to the north of here, it calls to me. The answers I’m looking for are waiting for me there.”

Baltazar placed his hand on her arms just below her shoulders and gently squeezed. She looked down to see them and raised her right hand to touch his left, “I’m sorry Baltazar, I probably won’t be good company tonight. You probably should go with you men and have some fun at the taverns.”

From the ship, they could hear the sounds of loud, drunken, laughter. Baltazar shook his head, “No thank you… I’ve had my fill of tavern girls.”

“If you are sure,” she replied, “I know you enjoy spending time with your men.”

“Aye, they’re a fun group,” Baltazar nodded, “but right now, this feels like where I should be. It’s where I want to be.”



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

Dumping the Info Dump on New Characters #Writing #Author #Advice

Hi Jim,

HELP!!!

… please! 🙂 I am so frustrated, I’m not sure what to do. I am trying hard to write my book. I’ve got a lot of great ideas, but I keep getting held up on when we meet new characters. Each time one of my main cast makes their first appearance in the story, I wind up with five or six paragraphs of details about the characters. I hate reading stories that just pile on the detail, but that’s what I’m doing. How can I stop this?

Thanks,
Lane


Hi Lane,

I know the feeling. It’s tough to get through books that just drag the detail out to absurd levels. We don’t need to know what each individual stone on the wall of the castle looks like, we can picture it on our own.

Okay, the first thing I would do is CALM DOWN! You emailed me in all caps. Do you know how many internet etiquette rules you’re breaking by doing that? ONE! Do not type in all caps!  I get you’re frustrated, but trust me, you’ll work through it.

All right, are you calm? Good. Now, when typing out person/place/thing descriptors, ask yourself a few questions; Does the reader need to know about this? Is this something that will become relevant to the plot later? Believe it or not, we don’t need to know the thread count of the clothing their wearing.

All joking aside… I think the best way you can break up ram-eating walls of text is to actually turn them into dialogue and omit what isn’t necessary. Let me give you an example:

Then he saw her. Her hair was a lustrous blonde that shimmered in the sunlight. It flowed to the small of her back and tapered off just above her behind.

Take something like that and edit it down to something a little more simple and use it in dialogue:

Toby turned to Mike, “Who is that girl?”

“Which one?”

Toby beckoned to a tall girl coming towards them, “That one with long blonde hair.”


Which example is easier to read? IMHO it’s the second one. It’s broken up and while obviously longer, it’s more engaging and isn’t a huge wall of text. That’s really the best advice I can give you. Slim down what you don’t need to say and have your characters actually talk about it instead of just telling the readers.

What do the other writers on my page think? How do you avoid huge walls of text?

Thanks,
Jim



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

Destiny: Divinity’s Finale, Book 3, Chapter 4

IV

 

Time went by slowly on the Black Vengeance as Baltazar counted it. When the hour finally came to a close, Papi came back up on deck, “Bad news Captain.”

Baltazar nodded, “Well I expected we’d have more than our fair share of it. What’s the matter?”

“It looks like Jaspart was scraping the bottom of his holds in order to catch us.” Papi replied. “We’ve enough left for maybe two days.”

“I see.” Baltazar replied while deep in thought. “We’ll have to put about then. That’ll also give us time to repair the damage this ship took from the Specter’s guns.”

Gilles turned to Baltazar with a nervous expression, “Put about sir? We’re sailing through Spanish waters, if we put in to a port along the coast…”

“I know,” Baltazar interrupted, “we’re being hunted by two major powers in the area… fortunately Portugal isn’t one of them.”

Morgan smiled, “Viana do Castelo is it?”

Baltazar returned his smile with a nod, “Aye, Viana do Castelo. I spent some time there when I was younger. It’s a large port city where a lot of adventurers sail from. Their merchants and dock masters don’t ask a lot of questions, so we should be fine.”

He then turned back to Gilles, “The hour is up, turn hard to port and steer us a course south, southeast.”

Gilles nodded and brought the ship around. The Black Vengeance listed slightly to port as they turned sharply. Once Baltazar was certain that they were going the right way, he turned back to Gilles, “Rudder amidships.”

The Black Vengeance quickly righted herself and began her voyage south. Baltazar looked behind him. He couldn’t see the French ship, but he could hear thundering explosions off in the distance.

Morgan turned his attention to the noise, “They’re firing at us?”

“They must think we’re not very smart.” Baltazar replied. “They’re firing blindly either hoping against hope to hit us or scare us into doing something stupid.”

He shook his head as he turned back to Gilles, “Amateurs… hold your course Mr. Gilles.”

Gilles nodded, “Aye Captain!”

Once Baltazar was satisfied that they were safe, he turned his attention away from their French pursuers. Though it was hard to see anything, he was able to pick out Melisande standing at the bow of the ship. Her face appeared to be directed downward toward some of the battle damage. A shot from the Specter had ripped up part of the aft railing on the forecastle of the ship.

Baltazar made his way down the starboard walkway to the forecastle. It was a bit of a squeeze getting around the deck guns Jaspart had added, but he managed to do so without running into anyone. The extra cannon limited the Black Vengeance’s cargo space. At one point, this ship would have only carried three cannons on either side, but the hull had been modified by a skilled shipyard to carry double the armaments on the gun deck, as well as three deck cannons on either side. Muzzle loading swivel guns had also been added to fore and aft castles.

This extra armament gave the Black Vengeance a rather cluttered feel. In addition, she also had to give up significant cargo space for the powder magazine. It was a hefty price for the extra protection, but Baltazar still considered it a fair trade as she still had far more cargo space then the Specter.

Baltazar climbed the small stairway to the deck of the forecastle. He made his way over to Melisande, when he noticed that she had a look of despair on her face. Once he was close enough, he placed his hand on her back and caressed her gently, “Everything okay?”

“No,” she replied, “everything is far from okay.”

Baltazar turned to face her, “What is it?”

“What is it?” She yelled. “Are you jesting? All the people I know and love with the exception of Papi, are dead. There is a chance that my home is far away from here, and that is where we are heading. It also appears that some inhuman creature is after me… I would think ‘what is wrong’ would be obvious, even to a ruffian like you!”

The moment the words left her lips, she regretted them. She was under a lot of stress, but Baltazar was only trying to help and didn’t deserve it. She lowered her eyes and calmed her voice as she spoke, “I’m sorry… I… I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay.” Baltazar replied. “Look, I know it’s not Mont Saint Michel, but you do have a home here with us. You will always be welcomed aboard the Black Vengeance.”

Melisande nodded, “I know… and to be honest, it’s what I’ve wanted since I was a child, reading about the discoveries of others, but I didn’t think my freedom would come at such a high price.”

“You can’t blame yourself.” Baltazar insisted. “You had no knowledge of whom or what you are. Perhaps if the people in the abbey had not hidden the truth from you for so long, things might have turned out different. Perhaps then you could have come up with a more careful plan to gain your freedom.”

“Maybe,” she said softly, “we’ll never know.”

She turned to face Baltazar and threw her arms around him, “Thank you for everything you’ve done. For a scoundrel, you’re pretty wonderful.”

Normally, Baltazar shied away from affections like this. He didn’t like anything that resulted in the formation of attachments, however something was different with Mel. When she touched him, it was as though something was obstructing his breathing. Within seconds, he could feel his lungs aching as he struggled to focus his breathing. His heart was racing and a warm feeling came over his skin.

Slowly, his arms went around her and his hands pressed on her back, “Don’t mention it.”

When Melisande finally released him, she looked out into the pale gray fog, “So we’re heading to Venice then to look for this Patrisi?”

“Eventually.” Baltazar replied. “We need to resupply first, so we’re going to put in at a Portuguese port. It may take a day or two to fix everything.”

Melisande nodded, “I’ve waited my whole life to find answers to the questions of my existence. I can wait a few more days.”

Baltazar smiled, “Good.”

*

The fog cleared around the Black Vengeance as she sailed south. The sun began its descent behind the horizon. The sky turned from blue to purple as the clouds turned from white to red. Almost ten hours had passed since they evaded the French galleass and, to the relief of the crew, Viana do Castelo came into view.

Baltazar stood with Morgan and Melisande on the forecastle. He kept a tight grip on his spyglass as he spoke, “It’s truly a sweet feeling whenever we make port. The men are restless, the goods are plentiful, the tavern wenches…”

Suddenly, he remembered Melisande was standing behind him, “Uh…”

“The tavern wenches… what?” Melisande asked with an evil grin. “Go on, finish the sentence.”

“The tavern wenches… are…” Baltazar stammered, trying to find the right words, “are ready to engage us in stimulating conversation!”

“Is that so?” Melisande asked musingly. “Very interesting, considering I’ve yet to meet a so-called ‘tavern wench’ capable of such conversation. Most of the time they’re just going on about how drunk you’ve gotten them.”

Baltazar shrugged, “Well you have met…”

“Save it.” She interrupted as she turned and left the forecastle.

Baltazar watched as she disappeared into the cabin. He turned back to see Morgan with a wide grin on his face. Baltazar glared at him, “All right, all right, wipe that grin off your face and get back to work!”

Morgan shook his head as he turned and walked to the aft castle. He worked on some of the rigging as they prepared to bring their ship in. Gilles looked over at him from the helm, “I’ve been noticing lately, the captain be acting a bit strange.”

“Aye.” Morgan replied. “It be the young lass. He looks at her differently than any of the innkeepers’ daughters he’s bedded over the years. She’s gotten her hooks into him.”

“He’s smitten!” Gilles realized. “That does not bode well for him at all.”

“Nay…” Morgan agreed. “Where once there be a man who could smooth talk his way up any lass’ dress, there now be a stammering idiot.”

Melisande slammed the door as she entered the cabin. Again she was biting her lower lip. Tears formed in her eyes as she put her back against the door and sat down. Really, she shouldn’t be surprised by Baltazar’s habits. Such is the lifestyle of an adventurer, she thought, but that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t show a little more tact.

A moment later, Melisande stood up and walked over to the starboard window. She leaned out and watched as the city grew larger in the distance. She could see the large buildings adorned with yellow and black flags bearing the city’s coat of arms. If she got a chance, hopefully she would get some time to go exploring. Her lust for adventure would have to wait as it would most likely still be some time before they docked. She turned back and lay down on the bed. Within moments, the rocking of the ship put her to sleep.

**

Melisande slept through the ship docking at port. It wasn’t until she heard a loud thud above her head that she came out of it. She opened her eyes to see that someone had covered her over with a blanket and left something for her at the end of the bed. She sat up and saw that it was a white and blue dress. She gasped as she looked it over. The stitching was the most intricate she’d ever seen and presumably more expensive than her entire wardrobe back at the abbey.

There was a note attached to the dress, “A mysterious stranger requests the honor of your company on deck. Please dress for the occasion.”

Melisande rolled her eyes, but decided to oblige her ‘mysterious stranger.’ She stripped out of the worn out, torn, clothing, and stepped into the dress. She then brought the white undergarments up first and pulled on the blue outerwear. After stitching the dress, she looked at herself in the mirror and carefully pulled the straps tight.

Once she was decent, Melisande did the best she could to straighten up her hair and wash her face. Her strict attention to detail caused her some frustration as she fiddled with a knot in her hair. It took her a moment, but she finally freed it. When she was finished, she stood in front of the mirror again and let out a long sigh as she was finally presentable.

The light from the sun still shined through the window as it was now half way set over the horizon. Melisande sucked in a deep breath and then opened the door. The moment it creaked open, she could hear the bustle of carpenters, painters, and dock workers running around the ship.

Baltazar was standing on deck with a man holding red cloth, “So how long will it take you to have these new sails installed?”

Melisande realized that the man was a sail maker that no doubt Baltazar had hired to replace the Black Vengeance’s ragged sails. The sail maker smiled, “We’ve got the sails already made. You’re ship type is somewhat out of date so sails like yours aren’t in high demand. It should only take a day to get them rigged. We can start tomorrow morning.”

Baltazar nodded, “Sounds good, now about these sails… you have a reputation for making sails that last forever.”

The sail maker laughed, “I don’t know about forever, but barring being hit by cannon fire, it’s unlikely that your ship will outlast these sails.”

“Would that be because of the sails or the way I run my ship?” Baltazar asked with a smile.

The sail maker laughed, “You will be very satisfied with these. Now, are you sure you want the red ones, they will cost extra you know?”

“Aye,” Baltazar replied adamantly, “we’re looking to alter our appearance as much as possible.”

“Running from someone?” He asked.

“It’s probably better that you don’t know.” Baltazar replied. “I trust you understand that this transaction never took place?”

The sail maker nodded, “As long as I get paid, I don’t care who I make sails for.”

Melisande cleared her throat as she came out on deck. Every eye on the ship looked at her as though a bright aura had suddenly appeared on deck. Baltazar’s eyes widened as he noticed her coming towards him. He nodded at the sail maker, “That will be fine, you’ll get your pay and a bonus for your silence. Get to it.”

The sail maker nodded as he surveyed the ship. Once he was out of the way, Baltazar slowly made his way toward her. She bit her lower lip as her eyes met his. Baltazar took her hand and kissed her right between the knuckles, “My lady, I humbly request you company tonight.”

Melisande smiled, “And where would we be going on this fine night?”

“That’s a secret,” Baltazar replied, “but I promise it’ll be worth your time.”

“I see,” Melisande replied, “well then I accept your invitation, good sir.”

Baltazar extended his elbow to her and she rested her arm gently on his. He escorted her off the ship to a carriage that had been waiting for them. She was shocked to see the extent that he was going to impress her, “How did you manage all this?”

Baltazar smiled, “I divided up the shares of the goods from the Black Vengeance’s hold. My shares were more than enough to pay for all of this.”

“I didn’t know there was anything onboard that could be sold.” Melisande said surprised.

“Aye.” Baltazar nodded, “Good old Jaspart horded everything away hoping for a big payday.”

The carriage stopped just outside of a large building on the city outskirts. Baltazar stepped out first and then extended his head to her, “This way, my lady.”

Melisande took Baltazar’s hand as he guided her out of the carriage and up two flights of stairs. They reached the roof where some of Baltazar’s men had apparently set up a table with chairs and an impressive meal for the both of them.

Gilles pulled out Melisande’s chair for her, “If you would take your seat, milady?”

Melisande nodded, “How kind of you.”

Behind them, a violin began to play and a voice started singing. Melisande’s eyes narrowed as she recognized the voice, “Papi?”

She turned to see him next to another member of the crew. He sang beautifully as the other man played. Melisande shook her head, “You are too much. I find it hard to believe that you had a part in this.”

Baltazar smiled as she turned back toward him, “Does this meet with your approval, my lady?”

She narrowed her eyes and shook her head, “Whatever magic you used to win over Papi won’t work on me.”

“I have no magic, my lady,” he replied, “I can only be who I am.”

“And what would that be,” she asked, “a ruthless scoundrel, an honorable theif, a wayward royal, or something else?”

Baltazar shrugged, “The man who managed to convince you to attend dinner tonight, who is interested in unraveling the mystery that is Melisande.”

Melisande nodded, “You know, flashy clothes, lavish dinners and…”

She looked out at the city as the last glimmer of sunlight disappeared, “… beautiful scenery… won’t win me over. I’m not some local tavern girl.”

“I know you’re not.” Baltazar replied. “I never would have put this much effort into winning the heart of a tavern girl.”

Baltazar looked out at the city. Lamp lights and torches lit up the night sky as the darkness took over. Melisande looked up at the massive church on the top of the hill, “What church is that?” She asked. “I’ve never seen one so big. Not even in Mont Saint Michel is that intricate.”

He nodded, “It is impressive, isn’t it? The Basilica of Santa Luzia was built there long ago.”

“It’s beautiful,” she replied, “truly beautiful…”

“It has one major flaw though.” Baltazar said softly.

Melisande looked back at him, knowing full well what he was about to say, “And what would that be?”

“It pales in comparison to your beauty.” He casually replied.

She rolled her eyes, “Flattery doesn’t work either, and especially not when it’s so predictable.”

Baltazar placed his elbows on the table, folded his hands, and rested his chin on top of them, “Then tell me, milady, what does work?”

She smiled slyly, “That depends on your intentions, if they are the right kind, you’ll figure out what will work sooner or later.”

Baltazar nodded, “I see…”

“And if not,” she continued, “then you can go to hell.”

“Understood,” Baltazar replied, “well in the face of eternal damnation, I would say that honorable intentions seem to be the best way to go at this point.”

Melisande’s smile disappeared, “You really mean that?”

“Aye,” Baltazar said softly, “I know I come off as a scoundrel and… lord knows it’s a reputation I’ve earned many times over, but with you… something’s different. I don’t feel the same way around you that I have around other women. With others, I’ve been able to talk my way in and out of everything. With you, I stumble over words, and at times, can barely breathe. I cannot explain it, and that annoys me terribly. You are unlike any other woman I have met. You spent your life sheltered in an abbey, yet here you are with more intelligence and knowledge of the world then most people could get in a lifetime. It’s… almost mystic.”

She smiled, “You are not the first person to say that to me. I can’t explain why I am this way. Most who have heard my life story would think I was some sheltered, naive girl. I guess in some ways that’s true, but since I was little, I feel like I’ve had someone watching over me, helping me make decisions.”

When Baltazar didn’t respond, she reached out her hand and touched his, “Sister Mary once told me that the things most worthwhile in the world are the things that test you. Those are the things you have to fight for, and the things that you will appreciate the most, once they are yours.”

“So I am to fight for you then is it?” Baltazar asked with a smile.

“If you wish to,” she replied nervously, “if it’s what you want. You have my attention. The rest is up to you.”

Baltazar sighed, “What about you, what do you want?”

She frowned, “To find the answers that have eluded me. I want to know who am I before I start thinking about what I’ll do.”

“I’ll do what I can to help you with that.” He said adamantly.

Melisande nodded, “I know you will. Thank you.”



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

In the Circle… Circle of Writing! #Writing #Author #Advice

Hello Jim,

I am working on a story of my own for quite a while already. From several sources, I’ve heard that self-published writers are quite friendly community that often can share advice with one another. I’d like to discuss the writing process and the joys and perils that come with us with like-minded people but I have no idea at all where to start.

I wondered if you know and could point me in the right direction?

Tomas


Hi Tomas,

So if I’m understanding this correctly, you’re looking for a writing circle. I think that’s a great idea and I definitely encourage it. Bouncing ideas off of other writers who are looking to get their work out there, or may have already gotten their work out there is a great way to get started.

The two places I frequent when looking for such people and groups is either right here on WordPress, or Goodreads. WordPress has a lot of writers out there looking for, and giving advice on various topics. Check out the #Writing tag on your reader list and you should be able to find others out there offering their advice.

For a more personal touch, Goodreads has several groups for writers and readers alike, including writers circles. Feel free to check them out here.

You can also consider starting your own here on word press. I’d recommend putting the word out for other readers and then perhaps do a once a week Skype chat or create a message board. I’ve personally been beating the idea of doing one myself, but at the moment, I don’t have the necessary time to commit to it.

So I really hope this helps in some way. There are plenty of resources out there. I’d consider checking with your local library as well. Often times they offer workshops, forums, and writing circles through there.

Thanks,
Jim



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

The Ins and Outs of Publishing, A Directory of Advice. #Writing #Author #Advice

Okay, so it looks like I’m still getting a lot of publishing questions. These are recurrent questions I get on a regular basis, and while I want to try to respond to everyone who reaches out to me, I don’t want my blog becoming redundant. So I think I’m going to repost this on a weekly basis from now on to help people navigate the publishing world. I don’t really see another way around it.

So if you have questions regarding publishing, PLEASE check below to see if any of this helps you before reaching out. I’m always happy to help, but I may have already answered your question.

Publishing is a tough road to navigate. Please check out the links below. These are previous posts I’ve made about the ins and outs of publishing. They should be of assistance in your journey:

Am I Ready To Publish? This is a must read BEFORE even considering starting the process. I can’t tell you how many authors burned bridges by not being ready.

Editing… There is a Cost That Must be Paid… or is There? You can skip this one if you’ve already had your writing edited (by someone other than you!). However, I’d still recommend reading.

Getting Published… the basics… In this post, we explore traditional publishing vs. self-publishing. Here you’ll get the pros on cons of each and the steps you need to go through in order to be successful in either.

Finally…

Copyrighting my Writing. Am I Protected? This isn’t required reading… however, if you’re concerned about plagiarism, or in the future may need to file a copyright claim, I recommend giving it a read.

Feeling overwhelmed yet? I’d be surprised if you didn’t. The only sage advice I can offer you other than the documents above is simple…

  1. Do not give up. A million “No’s” suddenly become irrelevant if you get that one “yes”.
  2. People will tell you that everyone and their mother wants to publish a book. You’re up against insurmountable odds and a flooded market. This is false. You’re not up against everyone and their mother. Permit me the luxury and I’ll prove this mathematically: First of all, take the entire group of people who want to get published. Now take that number and reduce it by roughly 60%. You just eliminated all the people who want to get something published, but don’t have the time, ability, drive, or inspiration to write. Next, eliminate another 20%. You’ve now taken down all the people who can put pen to paper but can’t afford the time/money to put the work into advertising and getting published. Eliminate another 10% who can’t take criticism and thus aren’t going to be able to get their writing properly edited. Now eliminate another 5% either don’t have the patience for or get discouraged by receiving a series of “No’s” from publishers.
    Now take that last 5% and eliminate all of them, except you. Why? Because they’re irrelevant. You have your writing and they have there’s. Whether or not you get published and how successful you are isn’t about other people’s writing. Yes, in the end, it’s you against one person, you. Whether or not I’ll ever get to buy your book off the shelf depends on you; how much time, effort, and funds you’re willing to put into your writing. So make it good!

Let’s open it up to the floor. Readers, do you have any publishing advice for our friend here? Let her know in the comments!



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

Destiny: Divinity’s Finale, Book 3, Chapter 3

III

 

The group rushed out of the sanctuary and down to the small rocky beach where their boat was waiting. It bobbed up and down as they jumped in. Papi and Melisande climbed in while Morgan and Baltazar pushed the boat back out.

Once it was safely in the water, the two men hopped in and manned the ores. They put their backs into rowing and within minutes came up alongside the Black Vengeance. Smoke was still pouring from the cannon that had been fired.

Baltazar helped Melisande onto the deck. Morgan and Papi followed close behind them. The rest of the crew quickly tied up the boat and, using the attached pulley’s, brought it out of the water.

Baltazar turned away from Melisande and walked over to the bow where Gilles was standing, “What’s going on?”

“Sorry to cut the trip short sir,” Gilles replied, holding up a spyglass, “but we’ve spotted a sail on the horizon.”

“Spanish?” Baltazar asked.

Gilles shrugged, “I don’t know, Captain, she’s not close enough to tell.”

Baltazar took the spyglass from Gilles, “Where away?”

“Two points to port.” Gilles replied.

Melisande joined him on deck as he scanned the horizon. Through the looking glass, he saw the massive flag on the back. It was blue with a gold fleur-de-lis in the middle.

Baltazar shook his head, “Not Spanish, they look to be French.”

Papi nodded, “No doubt dispatched by King Henry to investigate what happened to Mont Saint Michel.”

“Probably.” Baltazar agreed as he examined the ship. “They got here pretty fast though…”

He strained his eye to pick out what he could, “I’m seeing two really large lateen sails… ores… and a massive ram up front.”

He lowered the spyglass from his now-wide eyes, “It’s a galleass… and it’s heavily armed.”

“Great,” Papi sighed, “and here we are, a pirate ship with her guns loaded.”

“And the French be known for shooting first and investigating later,” Morgan added.

Baltazar nodded, “No doubt they’ve seen us… and even less doubt they’re thinking exactly what Papi is.”

“But we didn’t do this!” Melisande insisted.

“Try explaining that to their guns,” Baltazar replied.

“I figure we’ve got an hour before they be in gun range.” Morgan said, watching the ship.

“Less than that I think.” Baltazar replied as he turned back to his crew. “Weigh anchor, hands to the braces, I want full sail in ten minutes!”

He then turned to Gilles, “Take the helm, steer us a course west.”

“Aye sir.” Gilles said as he turned and headed for the helm.

The crew scattered to bring down the sails and get the Black Vengeance moving. Papi disappeared below deck to one of the cannon positions. Within ten minutes, the ship was moving away from Mont Saint Michel.

Baltazar kept his spyglass trained on the French warship as she approached. Melisande and Morgan stood on either side of him. The ship drew closer and came into view of the rest of the crew. To their horror, it changed course, moving away from Mont Saint Michel, towards the Black Vengeance. Morgan shook his head, “Captain, they’re coming about! It looks like they want us.”

“I don’t believe it,” Melisande said in shock, “they’re not even stopping to render aid to the abbey? There could still be people in there who need help!”

“Like I said,” Baltazar replied, “shoot first, investigate later.”

Morgan watched as the ship turned, “That thing has us completely outclassed. She be faster and far more heavily armed.”

“And her crew numbers in the hundreds,” Baltazar added.

He could hear Melisande begin breathing rapidly, “What are we going to do, how can we outrun something like that?”

Baltazar smiled, “Fear not, that ship may have us in terms of speed, but we have two advantages.”

“And what be those, Captain?” Morgan asked.

“Galleasses are famous for their top speeds, but they can only hold those for as long as their men can row, after that, they are completely reliant on those small sails.” Baltazar replied.

“What does that mean?” Melisande asked.

Baltazar turned to her, “It means that while they may be faster, we can cruise at our top speed much longer than that ship can. Also, the design and sheer size of that ship makes it difficult to maneuver. We can turn a lot quicker then she can, we’ll lose them.”

*

Aboard the galleass, the captain watched through his own spyglass as the Black Vengeance got underway. He lowered the spyglass with an angry look on his face, and turned to his mate, “Bring our guest up on deck.”

The man nodded, “Oui mon capitaine.”

The man immediately disappeared below deck. A moment later he returned with Jaspart, who looked like he was trying to dry off. The captain smiled, “Ah Monsieur Jaspart, how good of you to join us. It would appear you were correct about the pirate attack on our abbey.”

“Captain Jaspart…” He replied in an annoyed tone. “Those pirates stole my ship. I overheard them talking about ransacking the abbey. It looks like we got here too late.”

“Truly a shame,” the captain replied, “It seems your information was of little use. You best have something more valuable to keep you from being chained to one of my oars.”

Jaspart sighed, “I already told you, my letter of marquis is on that ship. We need to take it for me to show you, but it is authentic.”

“Not good enough Monsieur,” the captain sneered, “I am not fool enough to trust the word of a pirate.”

Jaspart nodded, “Then how about this, I know the ship and I know Captain La Fuente’s tactics. If you ever hope to keep on her trail, you’ll need my help.”

“For now.” the captain replied as he turned back to his mate. “Give me flank speed!”

“Oui mon capitaine.” The mate replied as he turned to the drummer keeping the rowing beat. “Flank speed!”

**

As the Black Vengeance pulled away from Mont Saint Michel, the French galleass became larger in the distance. Baltazar moved to the back of the ship with Melisande close on his heels. He leaned over the starboard side, extended the spyglass, and peered through it at the galleass again, “They’re gaining on us… from the looks of their ores, it looks like their Captain has ordered all ahead, flank speed. Fool… he won’t be able to maintain that for very long.”

Melisande watched as the ship got closer, “What is that spike on the bow?”

“That would be the ram.” He replied. “You want to steer clear of that, any ship that thing hits is doomed no matter what.”

“And right now it’s pointed at us.” Melisande said fearfully.

Baltazar sighed, “A few hours ago, you asked me to trust you. Well now I’m asking you for that same courtesy. Trust me, we can hold our speed a lot longer than they can hold theirs. We will lose them, I promise you.”

Melisande turned to face Baltazar with a confident look in her eyes, “I trust you Baltazar… more then you know.”

Baltazar smiled as he turned back to look at galleass again. He was about to look through the spyglass when he heard a loud boom, “Everyone hold on!”

Two cannonballs flew towards them and hit the water on either side of the Black Vengeance’s aft castle. Melisande gripped the railing hard, “We’re in gun range!”

“No we’re not,” Baltazar replied, “they’re just trying to scare us. Those shots would have just barely grazed the back of the ship. They’re pot shots.”

He turned to Gilles and nodded, “Keep us steady on, as long as we have the wind, we’ll be fine.”

Gilles nodded as Baltazar then turned to Morgan, “Let’s show these Frenchmen that they aren’t the only ones with cannons that fire straight, run up the aft cannons with a double charge of powder!”

Morgan nodded as he disappeared below deck, “Aye sir, we’ll give em what’s for!”

Within minutes, small ports opened up on either side of the rudder. Long but narrow cannons poked through the holes as the crew worked to get them ready. Baltazar waited for the signal to come as kept his eyes on the approaching galleass.

Finally, the signal came, “Guns reporting ready sir!”

Baltazar nodded, “High elevation, I want them knowing we have range on ours too!”

He waited a few moments as he calculated the distance in his head. He wanted thier shots to be a close call, at least. Melisande watched and waited. Then out of nowhere, Baltazar hollared down to the gun deck, “Fire!”

The deck shook as the two cannons unleashed their ammo. A pair of cannonballs shot through the air towards their target. The first one passed over the galleass’s deck and blew a hole in the forward lateen, while the second one hit the iron ram on the front with a loud clank.

Baltazar went wide eyed, “Wow, expert shooting men, that should rattle their cages a little.”

Melisande smiled for a moment before two more shots came from the galleass’s guns. The first missed completely while the second passed dangerously close to the Black Vengeance’s rudder. Gilles shook his head, “That… was too close. If they knock out our rudder, it’s all over for us.”

Baltazar didn’t respond. Instead he kept his eyes trained on the galleass and waited. Finally, the moment he was counting on had come. The oars began to slow down.

Baltazar cried out in an excited tone, “We got them, they’re slowing down!”

Cheers echoed all over the ship as the French galleass began to shrink into the distance. Melisande joined in the celebration, “You’re incredible!”

Morgan smiled, “Of course he is! He be Captain La Fuente! There be not another captain like him!”

Melisande nodded, “I’m actually beginning to believe that. As unbelievable as that is.”

Baltazar shook his head, “It’s not over yet. We’ll gain some distance, but we won’t lose them, not quickly anyway.”

“So what do we do?” Melisande asked.

“We wait.” Baltazar replied. “For now we’ll hold our course, and hopefully we’ll lose them long enough to change direction.”

He lowered the spyglass and turned to Melisande, “The question is, to where? Where are we going?”

Melisande reached into her blouse and pulled out the piece of parchment that was given to her by Sister Mary. She opened it and looked at what was written. Her eyes narrowed and a look of confusion came over her.

Baltazar placed the spyglass down on the table and stood next to her, “What does it say?”

Melisande shook her head, “It’s just a list of names… Venice, the Night Island, and…”

She paused for a moment, staring at the piece of paper. Baltazar’s eyes widened slight out of curiosity, “What is it?”

She looked up at him, “I… I can’t explain how… but this last name sounds familiar to me…”

“What name,” he asked.

Her eyes darted back and forth between the parchment and Baltazar, “Patrisi…”

“Patrisi,” Gilles asked, “who is that?”

“It sounds more like a family name than a person.” Baltazar replied. “Melisande, could that be your family?”

Melisande thought about it for a moment, “It’s possible I guess. The name is familiar to me, but I don’t understand why.”

“So it be Venetia then?” Morgan called out. “It seems like that’s where parchment says to go.”

Baltazar shook his head, “We can’t go anywhere until we lose that galleass nipping at our heels. Mr. Gilles, hold your course for now.”

Gilles nodded, “Aye sir.”

Melisande moved to the port side and watched the galleass as it did the best it could to keep pace with the Black Vengeance. She closed her eyes, crossed herself and clasped her hands together, “Lord God Almighty, watch over us, please. You have guided me this far, don’t let our story end here.”

She stood on the deck in complete silence for a few moments, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. Tears formed as she closed her eyes. She felt the wind blow through her hair and caress her skin which only provided her limited comfort.

Suddenly, Melisande felt an odd surge of power flow through her body. Her eyes snapped open, revealing her pupils were once again glowing bright blue. She kept her back turned to the crew, trying to hide whatever was happening to her. Her eyes always seemed to have an unusual glow about them, but they were never this bright. As she hid herself, she heard a startled voice appear behind her.

Gilles pointed towards the bow, “Captain, look!”

Baltazar turned to face the bow. Right in front of them was a thick wall of fog. Baltazar scratched his head, “I don’t get it, the sun is shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, where did this come from?”

Gilles held the wheel steady, “Orders sir?”

“Steady as she goes, Gilles.” Baltazar replied. “Get us into that fog.”

Gilles nodded, “Aye sir.”

Visibility in front of the Black Vengeance faded down to nothing as they passed into the thick cloud. Baltazar nodded, “This is exactly the good fortune I was waiting for.”

With a smile, Baltazar put a hand on the wheel, “Gilles, hold us steady for another hour. Then, if the fog holds out, steer us thirty degrees to port and bring us to a course south, southwest.”

“You got it Captain,” Gilles replied.

Baltazar gave Gilles a confident nod as he turned to see Papi reappear on deck, “Ah, Mr. Clement, it seems we have a need to sail for the Republic of Venice. I need to know if we have enough supplies for a weeklong voyage.”

“Aye, Captain.” Papi replied as he once again disappeared into the hold.

Morgan looked nervously at Baltazar, “I suggest caution sailing through those waters, Captain. Political unrest be the norm in that region these past years according to the latest news. We don’t want to end up in the middle of a warzone.”

“No we don’t,” Baltazar agreed, “but the Venetians have a firm grasp on the region for the time being. I’d be more worried about us coming under fire from that barge behind us.”

“Ye really think we have a chance at outrunning it?” Morgan asked.

“Aye, definitely.” Baltazar replied with confidence. “With this thick fog, give it an hour, and we’ll never be standing in their shadow again.”



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

Confident Writing, Learning to Let Go, Resources, Personal Writing Advice and Tips… and whatever else I could cram in! #Writing #Author #Advice

Jim,
I love the blog, and I read it as much as possible. I’ve always been a writer, it never really mattered what I was writing as long as I was writing.  I’ve done lots of journaling and short stories but I really enjoy writimg comic books.
I was curious if you had any tips as I have what I’ve been told are some incredible scripts but I always doubt myself and rewrite and rewrite; it just seems to be my process!
I have one script that’s getting a lot of traffic and noticed amongst some indie publishers and I think there is always room for improvement.
Can you recommend any books, online course in creative writing, or just any tips you may use to better yourself.
I’m almost 40 and I think I knew I was meant to write; it’s part of my corporate job, but I’m just looking for ways to be the very best I can because it looks like one of my most recent scripts is definitely a go. As soon as we finalize a few small details, and one very big one, an artist, lol, i’ll submit my first 12 issues.
It’s not my first published work, but definitely will be the most recognized and get the most exposure, so I want to go back and spend another week or two just cleaning up some dialog and I’m looking for any tips I can get. I read as much as I can and always ask for constructive criticism, so anything you got, please share!
Best Regards,
David Conine

 

Hi David,

Wow… that’s a pretty huge ask and I have to admit that I’m slightly out of my element when it comes to the process of comic book creation. Though I have danced with the idea a few times myself. If I’d been able to find an artist who would work for… well whatever profit we’d made… Drakin and Soul Siphon would likely have been comics. That said, I pride myself on giving my readers something to work with.

So let’s go through your asks one at a time. So it looks like you’re already halfway home in that writing is part of your job. Honestly, I’ve never really had professional training. I simply had a lot of great ideas and was lucky enough to be surrounded by the right connections and the right experienced people to help me navigate the waters. It’s something I’ve tried to pass on here. Since you have that, you’re off to a good start.

I actually want you to look at a few statements you made:

“I’ve been told are some incredible scripts but I always doubt myself ”

“I’m almost 40 and I think I knew I was meant to write; it’s part of my corporate job”

“It’s not my first published work, but definitely will be the most recognized”

“I have one script that’s getting a lot of traffic and noticed”

One of these statements doesn’t belong with the rest. Can you guess which one? If you said the first one, you’d be right. You’ve got four things pushing you forward and one holding you back. Build your confidence. Especially if you’re already getting traction.

Whenever I get apprehensive about something, I usually just shrug and say, “Hey, the best view of Heaven is on the Highway to Hell.”

Basically what I mean by that is that even if you go on a path that will likely lead to crashing and burning, at least you tried and you gained valuable experience… and probably had a great time doing it.

“I was curious if you had any tips as I have what I’ve been told are some incredible scripts but I always doubt myself and rewrite and rewrite; it just seems to be my process!”

There really isn’t any trick here. In most cases, when a writer gets stuck in this sort of rabbit hole, the only way they break out of it is to move on to another project. The best thing you can do for yourself is to do 6… maybe 7 drafts and then say, “You know what? It may not be perfect, but it’s good enough.”

And if your mind says, “Well no it isn’t.”

You just have to put the pen down and be like, “No it is. That’s it, I’m done with this one.”

It’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s the only way you won’t drive yourself insane. An artist will never be 100% satisfied with his work. NEVER! The trick is to get yourself at least 75% satisfied and be able to be happy with that. Find a way to pull yourself away, distract yourself, whatever.

I know that’s not much to go on, but you’re talking about something that literally all writers, artists, and musicians have suffered through at some point and none of us have found the perfect answer in how to deal with it.

“Can you recommend any books, online course in creative writing, or just any tips you may use to better yourself. “

I can’t really recommend any books on writing. I’m not really an academic in that way. The few books I’ve read with writing advice and techniques… I’ve found to be extremely arbitrary and in most cases, their methods will only work for one or two small groups of people that think a very specific way. So some of my readers may disagree with me, but instructional writing textbooks may not be the way to go.

I also haven’t taken any online courses. That being said, I have gone to several writing workshops/classes at both the local state and community colleges in my area. These are usually fairly priced, or in some cases, free. I’d look into something like that. Though if you’re looking for something a little more online-community, goodreads.com is worth a peak. They have all sorts of resources and message boards to help writers.

As for tips, I’d recommend going back through my blog. I have a whole library of FAQs, writing styles, etc. that should be able to assist. However to give you at least one piece of advice… I’ll give you the one I always wrote.

I remember when looking for interesting books to read… Most everything was disappointing or hard to get through. Then I watched an interview with someone who helped Tolkien write his novels. Tolkien essentially wrote his novels because there was nothing out there that he found interesting. So he wrote stories he’d want to read.

That’s essentially how I do it. I write for myself… people just happen to like what I write. So when writing, write for yourself. Write something you’d enjoy reading over and over. If you write something you really love, your readers will pick up on it. Don’t worry if other people will like it or not. What is the worst thing that can happen? It get’s some bad reviews, one stars, panned off the interwebs, and you go back to the drawing board. That’s all.

“I’m almost 40 and I think I knew I was meant to write; it’s part of my corporate job, but I’m just looking for ways to be the very best I can because it looks like one of my most recent scripts is definitely a go.”

I don’t know that there is much more I can tell you. You seem like you’ve already found your success. I would just say that you need to work on your confidence. Remember, when writing, it’s not you against the world. It’s not you against other writers. It’s simply you against you. How far are you willing to go? How hard are you willing to work? How much will you endure? If you have the stamina, you can do anything.

Just don’t sweat the small details. Let your editors worry about that.

“It’s not my first published work, but definitely will be the most recognized and get the most exposure, so I want to go back and spend another week or two just cleaning up some dialog and I’m looking for any tips I can get. I read as much as I can and always ask for constructive criticism, so anything you got, please share!”

I would say that it’s time to leave it alone. If it’s already a go, then you really shouldn’t have to do much more. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel here. Make sure it goes through editing (Other than you!) and then submit it to whoever has shown interest…

And please let me know when it goes on sale and if I can get an autographed copy ;)!

I do collect comics, as well as rare/unique/autographed/1st editions. So something like this would greatly interest me… especially if anything I did helped you along the way.

Readers, do you have any advice for our new friend here? Let him know in the comments.

David, please feel free to follow up with me if you need any further advice.



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

Drakin, An Empire of Ashes Sample Chapter #Writing #Fantasy #SciFi

Synopsis:

Two hundred years have passed, and the Red War has become a distant memory for most. Dragons and humans now live together in peace… but one powerful woman who has been deranged by her own history unleashes her vengeance on a helpless population.

Now, the world’s only hope for survival rests with Kaori, a naïve and wayward princess of the Eastern Empire. Having been disillusioned with her mother’s rule, she discovers a dark secret about her family that will change the course of history forever. She soon crosses paths with Nayeli and Joaquim, a pair of rogues living within her borders.

Their fight for survival takes an unexpected turn as a shadow of from the past reveals that the situation is more dangerous than they know. The fate of billions of lives rests on these three unlikely companions putting aside their differences to stand against the world.


DRAKIN: An Empire of Ashes


Chapter 1

So few of us left… No matter where we go, no matter how far we run… death always follows. The fires of Old London burned brightly in the distance. They engulfed the buildings in a veil of yellow and orange. They were miles away, but their smoke choked out the stars in the night sky. A dim orange hue added a sinister touch. The pungent odor from the decaying corpses added to the dark scene.Nayeli could hear the crackle of the massive flame like a million pieces of paper being crumpled in the distance. She ignored it and scraped through the rubble, looking for something, anything of value that could be traded for food or supplies. Bodies of dragons, EastCon, and Imperial soldiers littered the ruins. Many of them had been there for years.You would think that with all these bodies, at least one bolt pistol would have been overlooked! Nayeli was familiar with the scene, she’d lived in that horror for years in almost every city along the outskirts of the Imperial Territory. This was the fate of those who dared oppose the Eastern Empire.She kept her head close to the ground as she quickly turned over another body. A relieved sigh escaped her lips as she looked at his belt, “Yes!”Her eyes flared as they focused on a black holster that had been hidden under the fallen soldier’s hip. Unlike the others she’d seen that day, this holster wasn’t empty.Nayeli’s hands shook as she quickly unsnapped the flap that was holding the bolt pistol in place. She paused as a light flashed in the corner of her eye. A massive silhouette loomed in the distance, letting off a menacing hum. Her spine stiffened as a feeling of dread overtook her. An Imperial Hunter-killer… Shit, I need to get out of here.Her left hand wrapped around the pistol and pulled it from its holster. She had no time to check out her prize. The distant hum grew louder as the silhouette approached. She quickly hid the gun under her filthy red cloak and dove behind some rubble as the patrol ship passed overhead. A blue energy beam carefully scanned each piece of rubble.Nayeli pressed herself against the remains of a concrete wall. Like everything else in the area, it was covered in black soot. Small metal pipes protruded from the sides. Where ever it came from, something powerful must have dislodged it.As the hunter-killer passed overhead, her hand clenched her own gun as she held her breath. The ground shook, dislodging small pieces of rock and dust, sending them flying. Her lungs began to ache, but she refused to breathe as she waited.She pressed her back hard against the rough concrete and waited for fate to pass its judgment. If the hunter-killer found her, it was all over. There was no way to escape one of these things. They were fast, maneuverable, and almost completely impervious to ground attack. The curved armor covering the thrusters made shooting it down a difficult task.The ship cruised overhead as though it was ignoring her completely. The debris had blocked her from its field of vision. She was safe for the moment.Her lungs felt like they were about to explode when she finally released her breath. She pulled the dead soldier’s pistol from under her cloak. Though filthy, it looked intact. She pressed the safety in and waited to see what happened. Come on… give me something.The lights on the side flickered off and on a few times. It took a moment for the indicator on the side to come to life. The meter rose out of the red, passed through the yellow bar and stopped with barely a sliver of green illuminated. Yes, plenty of power left!She carefully inspected the markings, using the little rays light that peeked over the concrete, “Mauser T-21… with half a cartridge left. Not a bad piece…”Guns had been a valuable commodity for dissidents since the UPW was forced to withdraw from Europe. If anyone had any hopes of survival, they carried one, but that’s not why Nayeli was looking for it.The right buyer would pay handsomely for a gun. Even a small pistol like the Mauser was worth a small fortune. She quickly returned it to her pocket and focused her situation.The hunter-killer she’d seen in the distance was now passing over another large piece of debris. The sophisticated trackers could sense even the slightest movement from the ground. Even something as gentle as a heartbeat could give someone away.The sleek, black, cone-shaped vehicle passed quietly over the rubble. The blue thrusters glowed as they held the craft a few hundred feet off the ground.Scree! Scree! Scree!“Shit!”Had she been detected? No, it was too far away for the sensors to have caught her movements. The craft immediately turned and headed towards another pile of rubble where a second hunter-killer was hovering.At that moment, Nayeli saw what it was going after. A female dragon and two lings had tried to take refuge in a collapsed building. They raised their hands with terrified looks on their faces.Even at a distance, Nayeli could make out the sheer horror. The eyes of the dragonlings were soaked with tears. The older one trembled with fear while trying to hide it. They were fully aware of the fate that was likely waiting for them, Nayeli was sure of it.The older one threw her hands in the air, “No, wait, plea…”The terrible robotic sound of a rapid-fire pulse cannon cut off her screams. Nayeli immediately turned away and closed her eyes. She knew what was happening. The body of the female dragon hit the ground with a loud thud.A second later, the firing ceased and was replaced by the screams and sobs of the juvenile dragons. Nayeli closed her eyes, waiting for the next shots that would end their lives, but to her surprise, it never came. The pilot had apparently decided to spare the lings, but why?Their voices were quickly overpowered by an older, far more intense one, “Don’t move or we’ll open fire!”Nayeli turned back to see that two soldiers had apparently been winched down from the hunter-killer. They were dressed in heavy black armor and brandished massive rifles. Their masks made them look like fearsome monsters.The children obeyed the commands, likely more out of terror than obedience. Nayeli reached into a second pocket in her cloak and withdrew a larger pistol with a scope and significantly larger muzzle.The rubble crumbled as she rested her stomach against it and peered into the scope on the pistol. She steadied her grip and slowly moved the crosshairs so that they lined up with one of the primary thrusters on the hunter-killer. It was a narrow slit between the armor and the thruster itself.She sucked down a deep breath, waiting until she was ready. It was nearly an impossible shot, but she had to try. A scream from one of the dragonlings prompted her into action, “Let’s see how you like this, Imp scum!”She squeezed the trigger, unleashing three blasts from the pistol. The blue bolts screamed through the air, striking the hunter-killer on the port side primary thruster. The engine sputtered and died out, causing the ship to lose altitude and pull away. Yes, got it! Oh man, Joaquim will never believe that!The startled soldiers turned their attention to the rubble where the gunshot had come from. One of them raised his rifle, “We’re under attack, take cover!”Not happening! Nayeli grabbed something under her cloak. It was a smooth, round, device with red lights on it. She depressed a small button on top. The light changed to blue as it released a high-pitched sound. Here we go!She quickly stood up and threw it. Her body was only exposed for a moment, but it was all the soldiers needed. One of them took aim and opened fire, hitting her in the shoulder before the small orb exploded in a flash of light.She yelped and collapsed behind the rubble again, nursing her shoulder. She only had moments to deal with the pain and did her best to ignore it. It’s okay… it’s just pain… just pain… it’s not bad.Her hand squeezed the wound as she turned and looked back over to see what had happened. Both soldiers had been knocked out by the concussion grenade, while the dragonlings were sobbing a few feet away. They were both shaking, afraid to move from their spot.Nayeli sucked down a deep breath before moving over to the soldiers. She quickly grabbed their rifles and sidearms and threw them in her pack.A small flicker of light caught her eye from the side pouch on one of the soldier’s hips. He was carrying four replacement power cells for the guns. She grabbed the cartridges and tucked them away. Jackpot! Having grabbed everything she could carry, Nayeli turned to leave. The sobbing of the dragonlings stopped her in her path. She looked back at them with an indifferent stare, “You should get out of here. They’ve only been knocked out.”The two dragonlings curled up together but refused to speak. Nayeli frowned, “Don’t you have someplace to take refuge? A home somewhere?”One of them shook its head.“Nowhere?” She demanded.The dragonling again shook its head, “No.”Nayeli looked at the dead dragonkin a few feet away, “Was that your mother?”The tears in the dragonlings’ eyes answered the question for her, “Oh… I see…”“They came for us in the night… they killed our daddy! He never even…”The dragonling lowered its eyes, too upset to say anything else. Nayeli clenched her fists as she looked back at the two soldiers she’d knocked out, “I’m sorry…”This was nothing new. Several dragon refugees at her camp had similar stories to tell. She had slowly become numb to them over time. However, she couldn’t leave these babies where they were.She reached out her hand to the nearest dragonling, “Come on, I’ll take you somewhere safe.”The dragonlings looked up at her in fear. They looked at her hand but didn’t take it. The smaller of the two recoiled nervously.Nayeli sighed, “What’s your name?”The larger of the two blinked as it timidly looked up at her, “Eutera, and this is Ixen…”“Eutera, those people are going to come back. If they catch you, they’ll take you somewhere that will not be pleasant. I can’t stick around and make you feel better. I’m really sorry about your mother, but she gave her life to try to save you. I can help take you somewhere safe, but you have to come with me now.”In the distance, she could hear the smooth engine of a hunter-killer. Ixen sucked down a deep breath and quivered, “They’re… they’re coming back?”Nayeli looked into out towards the crumbling buildings as a shadow passed by. The damaged ship must have sent out a distress call, “It won’t be long now.”Nayeli turned back to the dragonlings, “You have to trust me! We don’t have any time, you’ve seen what these people will do! Now, are you coming or not?”Her eyes flared as she spoke. The dragonlings looked at her oddly for a moment before Ixen grabbed Eutera’s hand and then reached out for Nayeli’s.She smiled, “Okay, good. Let’s get out of here!”Readers,Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.jimthewritingwizard@gmail.comI’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTUNote:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!
Thanks friends!Catch you on the flip side!-Jim

+

Destiny: Divinity’s Finale, Book 3, Chapter 2

II

 

Another day passed as the ship sailed for Mont Saint Michel. The morning watch reported seeing smoke on the horizon as the sun rose the next morning. One of the men shook Baltazar out of his bunk to wake him.

Baltazar rubbed his eyes as he looked up, “What is it man?”

“Sorry Captain,” the young scout replied, “but we’ve sighted smoke coming from the direction of the abbey.”

Baltazar shot out of his bunk and stood up, “Where away?”

“Two points off the starboard bow.” He replied.

Baltazar grabbed his spyglass and peered out on the horizon. He couldn’t see what was causing the smoke in the distance, but feared the worst. After lowering the spyglass, Baltazar looked at the coastline they were passing, “That’s coming from Mont Saint Michel… no doubt about it…”

The scout turned to him, “Sir would someone be so… ruthless as to attack an abbey?”

“Why not?” Baltazar replied. “It wouldn’t be the first time… Plus it’s a very defenisble fortress, even with low numbers. Still, let’s not jump to conclusions; we don’t know that’s what happened.”

“It looks like an attack to me.” The scout insisted. “Why else would it be smoking so much?”

Baltazar thought about it for a few moments and nodded, “Okay… all hands on deck, man the guns.”

The scout nodded, “Aye aye sir.”

He quickly ran to the ships bell, and started ringing it loudly, “All hands, on deck, everyone to the guns!”

The sound of the bell roused the crew and they rushed to get on deck. Baltazar took the helm, “Gilles, go get Melisande.”

Gilles released the wheel and saluted, “Aye sir.”

The rest of the crew got on deck quickly as Baltazar began issuing orders, “All hands, run up the guns! Five minutes, I want them ready to fire!”

Gilles disappeared below deck and made it to the galley where Melisande was finishing up her duties. She looked up to see Gilles rush through the door, “Gilles, what’s wrong?”

Gilles looked at her seriously, “You need to come with me right now.”

“Why what is it?” She asked nervously. “Are we under attack?”

“Our scouts sighted smoke over Mont Saint Michel.” Gilles replied. “It looks like there may have been a fight there.”

Melisande gasped, “What, who would attack an abbey?”

“I don’t know,” Gilles replied, “but we be going to find out, let’s go.”

Melisande nodded and followed Gilles up to the main deck. The morning sun brightened her eyes as she finished climbing the steps. Gilles pointed out to the horizon, indicating where Melisande should look.

Melisande squinted to see what was going on. Sure enough, she saw smoke coming from the coastline on the horizon, “No…”

Gilles watched her eyes as she peered into the horizon, “Is it…?”

“Yes,” she nodded, “it’s the abbey.”

Within minutes the ship was battle-ready as the burning abbey grew larger on the horizon. It took them another hour to get close enough, but it was evident long before they were close enough to go ashore that this had been the site of a vicious battle.

As the ship neared the massive castle, they could see large burn marks, blast holes, and flames spewing from the stone. An ominous feeling came over the crew as they beheld what should not have been possible. Mont Saint Michel was high enough to be protected from a sea attack, and easily defensible from land.

When they reached the bay Baltazar turned to his men, “Drop anchor here, we’ll have to take the longboat in.”

“That’s a little far, Captain.” Gilles replied. “It’ll take us a while to reach the abbey.”

“What other choice do we have?” Baltazar asked.

“We can keep going.” Melisande interrupted. “The tide is in, the water should be deep enough.”

Baltazar went wide eyed as he looked at her, “Are you insane? We have no way of knowing if it is deep enough. We could wind up running aground.”

She turned to him with a pleading look in her eyes, “Please, you have to trust me!”

Baltazar paused for a moment and looked at his men as they worked. Finally, he shrugged, “Steady as she goes, helm.”

Gilles nodded, “Aye sir.”

Baltazar then turned to Morgan, “Get the longboat ready and standby to lower away.”

“Aye.” Morgan replied.

“Pull in the sails.” Baltazar yelled. “Let the tide bring us in.”

The crew did as they were told and slowly, the Black Vengeance moved in closer to Mont Saint Michel. The ship glided through the water as the castle got bigger. Suddenly, there was a loud scraping noise that rocked the deck slightly. It gave everyone a jump and then stopped.

Melisande turned to Morgan, “What happened?”

“Figure we scrapped a reef.” He replied. “Don’t think it be a good idea to take this much further.”

Melisande nodded, “Just a little more…”

She noticed Baltazar looking at her with concern and glared at him, “Trust me!”

Baltazar turned away, “Helm, five more minutes, then bring us about, hard to starboard and drop anchor.”

“Aye sir,” Gilles responded.

At hearing his orders, Melisande smiled at him before turning and watching the shore. Gilles counted five minutes before pulling the helm over to starboard. Once he did, the ship slowly turned. Gilles held the Black Vengeance at starboard until the bow faced out to sea. The moment that he was certain she was in the right position, he called to the men at the bow, “Drop anchor!”

The anchors on both sides of the ship fell beneath the waves. Within moments, a loud thud indicated that the anchors had impacted on the seabed. The crewmen locked the ropes in place and turned back to Baltazar, “The ship be secure Captain, but I don’t think she can stay here long. We didn’t have to let off much slack!”

“Any idea how much space we have?” Baltazar asked.

The crewman shrugged, “A few feet between us, maybe?”

Baltazar nodded, “We’ll need to make this quick then, lower the longboat.”

Three men worked on getting the launch into the water. Morgan sat in the boat and kept her steady as she touched the water. Papi came up on the deck just as the crew was preparing the longboat.

Baltazar turned to him, “Ah, Mr. Clement, I was about to come and get you. We’re going ashore and I need you to accompany me. With the exception Mel, you know more about the abbey then the rest of us.”

“Understood.” Papi replied.

One by one Papi, Baltazar, and Melisande joined Morgan in the longboat. Baltazar was the last one to climb down. As he made his way over the side, he called out to the men on deck, “Gilles, you’re in command until I get back. Keep her battle ready, I don’t want whatever did this getting a jump on us.”

“You got it, Captain,” Gilles replied, “no problem.”

Melisande took the front of the boat with Papi astern. Morgan and Baltazar manned the ores and rowed towards the small beach located off to the side of the massive walls. As they drew closer, Papi looked up at the high towers, “My God, they took a lot of hits…”

“Aye.” Baltazar replied. “What’s odd is that any weapon that could reach those towers would be slow moving. It should still be in the area… but theres nothing.”

Morgan shook his head, “That be because there ain’t one. Everyone be thinking it, I’m just saying it; no human weapon did this.”

“Then what could it have been,” Melisande asked, “and why?”

Baltazar sucked in a deep breath, he didn’t want to say it, but he had a feeling that he knew what they were after. It’s you they were looking for, Mel. It’s the only explanation.

As the boat pulled up on the rocks, Morgan pulled a box out from under one of the seating positions and opened it. Inside was a pair of pistols, loaded, and ready for use. Baltazar grabbed one while Morgan grabbed the other. They also drew their swords as they jumped out of the boat. The two men’s boots hit the water as Melisande’s feet touched dry land. Papi followed his shipmates out of the boat as they made their way to Mont Saint Michel.

The group made their way up the side of the hill where there was no wall. It was a steep incline and they had to help each other climb at different points to prevent a fall, but eventually, they made it to the abbey walls. From there, they made their way around to the entrance. Walking along the walls, they could see the extent of the damage and some of the rubble that had fallen as a result.

Once they reached the entrance to the main sanctuary the group saw a guard still alive, but only barely. He was shaking in terror and continuously repeated the same words over and over again, “Guards, remain at your posts… hold your ground, hold your ground!”

Baltazar knelt down next to him, “Soldier, it’s okay, the fighting is over.”

The man stopped shaking and looked over at Baltazar. There was a sense of lifelessness in his eyes as though whatever he had seen had ripped the soul from his body before it had a chance to die. Baltazar placed a hand on the man’s shoulder, “What happened here, who did this?”

The guard’s breathing increased and he began shaking again, “Winged beasts… Foul creatures… not human…”

The three men turned and looked at Melisande. She had a look of terror in her eyes. Baltazar stood as the guard closed his eyes and felt limp, “Melisande…”

“Before you say anything,” she interrupted, “I don’t know what he’s talking about. I’ve never seen winged creatures before!”

“We have,” Morgan chimed in, “ye…”

She turned and glared at him, “What are you saying? Do you think I had something to do with this? These people cared for me since I was a child! You think I’d hurt them?”

“Not at all,” Baltazar assured her, “but not so long ago you unleashed inhuman powers on our enemies. At that moment, white wings appeared on your back. It can’t be a coincidence that similar creatures suddenly attack your old home.”

Melisande stepped back, “My God… you’re right… could this be my fault? I am responsible for the deaths of these innocent people?”

“That’s preposterous.” Papi replied. “Put that thought out of your head. You could not have foreseen this, nor could you have prevented it. Had you been here, you’d most likely be dead now too!”

Melisande shook her head, “I only wish that weren’t so hard for me to believe.”

Tears formed in her eyes as she looked at the bodies of guards and monks littering the castle grounds. Baltazar stepped forward with a sympathetic look, “Are you ok?”

“I know most of these people.” She replied. “They were my friends and the only family I ever really had… These guards… they taught me how to fight and let me escape for a few hours every now and then.”

Baltazar hugged Melisande, trying to comfort her as much as he could, “I am sorry for you. I know this must be very difficult.”

“It’s impossible,” she replied as she buried her head in his chest, “let’s just find what we came here for and leave… I don’t know how much more of this I can stand.”

Baltazar nodded, “All right then, let’s go.”

He led the way with Melisande under one arm and his sword pointed ahead. Morgan picked up the rear as they entered the gates to the main sanctuary. It looked as though large explosions of some kind had rocked the once beautiful garden. Large craters had ripped into the flower beds and trees.

Melisande shook her head, “I used to tend to these, I was so proud of them when they came into full bloom. I was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I even saw Sister Mary admiring them from time to time.”

Morgan looked for a moment, “They must’ve been nice. Ye be meticulous when it comes to injuries, can’t even fathom what they would have looked like.”

They continued moving until they entered the first hall. There, in the middle of the room lay small group of nuns. Papi shook his head with a sad look, “They didn’t even show mercy to the sisters… No one was spared…”

Melisande turned to Papi, “Help me, we need to see if one of these is Sister Mary.”

Suddenly, there was movement behind her and a faint whisper. She turned around to see one of the sisters was still alive. Melisande turned and dropped to her knees, “Baltazar, help me, hurry!”

Baltazar moved over to the other side of the sister and kneeled down. Gently, he turned the woman on her back and rested her head on his knee. Melisande moved the hood covering her head to see her face. She covered her mouth when she saw who it was, “Sister Mary!”

The elderly women opened her eyes slightly, “Little Melisande… you’ve returned. I feared the worst when you disappeared.”

“Please forgive me sister,” she replied, “I’m so sorry I worried you…”

Sister Mary weakly shook her head, “You had to find your own way… I watched over you for as long as I could. Your desire for adventure was too strong… I knew it was only a matter of time.”

“Sister, what happened here,” Baltazar asked.

Her eyes turned to face Baltazar, “You… are her protector now?”

Baltazar looked up at Melisande. Her glowing eyes met his and waited anxiously as though she was also curious to hear what his answer would be. Baltazar turned back to the sister and nodded, “Aye, that’s why I’m here.”

Sister Mary pushed against him a little to move her head. She looked up at him and studied his features, “You have a very kind face. You must protect her well, she is important… not just to us, but to the survival of all.”

“What are you talking about Sister?” She asked. “How can I be so important? You told me that I was just a foolish girl.”

“There is more to you then even you know.” Sister Mary responded. “You must find it… the power within yourself… or all of humanity will suffer the same fate.”

“Sister, who did this?” Papi demanded.

She looked up at him, “Demonic creatures… and the one that is many… They are looking for Melisande… but they mustn’t find her.”

Melisande backed away, scared, “Why, why are they after me?”

“Because of who you are.” Sister Mary responded, “Difficult trials lie ahead for you. If you are to survive… you must find the answers…”

Melisande shook her head, “I’m not ready for this, Sister… I don’t want to live like that!”

“You don’t have a choice.” She replied. “We all have a purpose, and this is yours. I’m sorry that such a huge burden has been placed on your shoulders… but such things are not for me to decide.”

“But where do I go from here?” Melisande asked.

Sister Mary reached under her robes and pulled out a small piece of parchment, “Take this… use the information to find the answers, only then will you be able to save us all.”

She handed the parchment to Melisande as her hand fell limp. Melisande took it, but then looked back at the sister, “Sister… Mary, please… who am I?”

The old woman coughed a few times, “You are… you… That is all I can say… you must witness the answers for yourself… for them to make any sense… only then can you decide who you are.”

Her eyes closed and she let out one final breathe. Melisande closed her eyes and placed a hand on Sister Mary’s chest, “Sister… I am so sorry…”

Baltazar placed her body carefully on the ground and crossed himself, “Rest in peace sister. Do not worry; Melisande is in my care now. In nomine Patris, ET Fili, ET Spiritus Sancti, amen.”

Melisande wept as she knelt next to Sister Mary’s body. Baltazar placed his hands on her arms and guided Melisande to her feet. She buried her face in his chest unable to hold back her grief any longer. Her heart felt as though a million needles had just simultaneously pierced it. I should never have left. She thought to herself. This is my fault…

Baltazar closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her, “I’m so sorry, Melisande, I wish that there were something I could do to change this…”

“She was my caretaker.” Melisande responded through tears. “She didn’t choose to take care of me, anymore then I would have chosen her… but no matter how badly I misbehaved, she never complained and never gave up on me.”

“Sometimes it be hard.” Morgan said. “Ye never understand how much ye loved someone til they be gone.”

“Truth,” Papi agreed, “as plain as any.”

“We need to get out of here.” Melisande said pleadingly. “Whatever attacked this place was looking for me, and they might still be in the area.”

“Aye,” Morgan agreed, “that be true. We best be shoving off.”

“Are you okay to walk?” Baltazar asked as he released Melisande.

She nodded, “I’m shaken up, but I can still move. I’ll be fine… physically speaking.”

The four shipmates ran out of the hall and into the sanctuary. Suddenly, they heard what sounded like a single cannon firing off in the distance. Melisande jumped at the sound, “They’re back, we’re under attack!”

“I don’t think so.” Baltazar responded in a slightly more calm tone. “That shot sounded like it was only a half charge of powder, not enough to fire at anything.”

Morgan came up behind them, “That shot came from the direction of the Black Vengeance, Captain. It most likely be a signal.”

Baltazar nodded, “To the boat!”

As they turned to leave, Melisande took one last look at Sister Mary and shook her head, “I’m sorry…”

Baltazar grabbed her arm and gave her a gentle tug, “Melisande, please… we need to go, now.”

Melisande looked back at him and nodded, “I’m coming.”



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim

+

A Little About Cover Blurbs. #Writing #Author #Advice

Hi Jim,

I’m getting really frustrated with my writing. I’m trying to write a cover blurb for a book I just finished. I have used several others as examples and templates of what to do and what not to do. However, every time I think I’ve got it down, I go back and rewrite the whole thing because it doesn’t convey what I want people to know about my book.

Do you have any insights on writing one of these? I’m getting ready to throw my laptop out the window!

Thanks,
Margie


Hi Margie,

There’s an old saying in IT circles;

Violence and technology are not good bedfellows. 

Don’t throw your laptop out the window! It hasn’t done anything wrong and, despite the momentary feeling of satisfaction, it’s not worth it.

Laptop-Crying-Eye-Contact

Stop technology abuse!

Okay, on topic. Believe it or not, you’re in good company. Writing a blurb is the bane of almost every writer out there. I know many writers who would rather bang out a 400 page manuscript then write a 2-3 paragraph blurb. It’s tough because, in addition to being a brief summary, it’s also a sale’s pitch. This is the difference between a synopsis and a blurb. A synopsis just gives you a detailed summary of a book without giving too much away.

A blurb does the same to a lesser extent but also attempts to draw the reader in.

Your timing couldn’t be better as I’ve decided to revisit my blurb for The Orphans of Haven.

You’ve already done part of the work by looking at other samples. So what’s next? Well…

I think the first thing you should do is introduce the conflict. What problem are your characters facing? Spend a sentence or two addressing that. Make sure your first sentence is powerful and can effectively draw someone in so that they want to read more. A lot of people rarely read past the first sentence. If they’re not hooked right away, you’re not as likely to make a sale.

The next step is to introduce your main character(s). At a minimum, you need to introduce the main focus of the story. Give them a name and a brief, one-sentence- description of who/what they are. (veteran, police officer, normal guy, etc.)

Next, establish your hook. This really needs to be done in the first paragraph and near the beginning. The whole idea of the blurb is to entice the readers. Give them something that will make them want to rip that cover open.

Next, establish setting and mood. Give your readers a brief peek into the world your characters live in. Let them experience it for themselves.

Finally, leave the reader on a cliffhanger. Leave the reader wondering what will happen. You can do this easily by asking a question “Can our hero beat his enemy?”
“What will happen if he cannot solve the crime?”
“If he fails, reality as we know it may not survive.”

In this case, it is perfectly fine to leave the reader hanging.

Don’t be afraid to use a lot of hyperbole. Treat this like a sale’s pitch. Using big, exciting phrases will help you to draw your reader in. Try to keep your sentence short. This isn’t always possible, but there are ways to break up a longer one.

Finally, keep it short. Do not write a book to put on the back of your book. Three paragraphs at most IMHO. Establish what you need to and then end it.

Now, what should you avoid?

Well for starters, don’t give too much away. If you tell the reader too much, what’s the point of reading your book? This one cannot be overstated. You shouldn’t tell the reader anything past the introductory chapters of your book.

Secondly, leave out irrelevant details. This should be a given, based on how little space you have, but I see people put in distracting details way too often.

Finally, avoid misleading language. Don’t put anything on the back of your book that could be easily misinterpretted. You don’t want to give a reader the idea that your book is one thing, only for it to turn out to be completely different.

Anyway. I hope this helps a little. Good luck with your blurb! Readers, if I’ve missed anything or you have advice on how you write a blurb, feel free to leave it in the comments!

Thanks!

 



Readers,

Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.

jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com

I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.

Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:

http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU

Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!

Thanks friends!

Catch you on the flip side!

-Jim