“Dear Jim,

I’ve been writing a romantic fantasy story for a while now. Things were going great until I found out that my own relationship is not what I thought it was. I don’t want to go into detail, but he betrayed me with a friend of his. This isn’t the first time that something like this has happened either. I’ve pretty much given up on relationships and trusting other people and was wondering… if you don’t believe in love, how can you write about it?

Appreciate your help,


Hi Trish…

I’m really sorry that happened to you. I know from experience what it’s like when the person who is supposed to love you the most turns cold and hurts you. It stings and the pain doesn’t go away. It get’s easier to deal with, but it never goes away.

Anyway… I had another reader who asked about a similar case a few posts ago. Normally, I would just refer you to that post, but your case seems a little more extreme. I would seriously urge you NOT to give up on love all together. A life without it isn’t really living. Just because you’ve got a history of hurt (you’re not alone) doesn’t mean you should just give up. Love comes in many different forms and sometimes is hard to recognize.

If you really think that your view will impede your ability to write this romantic fantasy book of yours to the point where it grinds you to a halt, then stop writing it. Move to another writing project, or just do some personal writing. Create a second word document and do a sort of ‘Alternate Ending’ to the story. You don’t have to share it with anyone, you don’t even have to keep it with the other story. Write it, put your characters through Hell, and then when you feel like you’re more up to it, complete your Romantic Fantasy the way you wanted to originally.

I would also strongly recommend that you find someone to talk to. Find someone you can confide in and just talk, talk about how you feel and what you need to get out. If worst comes to worse, please feel free to email me and we can discuss this further.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you today on this one. It’ll be okay.

Thanks and best of luck,



Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.

I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.

Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:


Thanks friends!
Catch you on the flip side!


1 Comment on “Loveless #Fantasy #Fiction #Advice

  1. Good, human, and humane advice, Jim.
    Trish, sorry you’ve had to go through this. I hope you can keep your hopes for the ideal instead of it disillusioning you.
    As far as writing goes, yes, our writing can be impacted by our life experience, so you want to be watchful where this might divert your current romantic fantasy – might be best to set it aside until the pain is less dominant in your life – or you can continue to write it to help you retain your romantic spirit.
    BTW – when we write fiction, we don’t have to believe in everything we write – if we did, I’ve written some characters that should make people run from me. You can let your characters run the story instead of them relying on you. Let them cheer you up.
    Good luck!


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