by Jim
Hi Jim,
HELP!!!
… please! 🙂 I am so frustrated, I’m not sure what to do. I am trying hard to write my book. I’ve got a lot of great ideas, but I keep getting held up on when we meet new characters. Each time one of my main cast makes their first appearance in the story, I wind up with five or six paragraphs of details about the characters. I hate reading stories that just pile on the detail, but that’s what I’m doing. How can I stop this?
Thanks,
Lane
Hi Lane,
I know the feeling. It’s tough to get through books that just drag the detail out to absurd levels. We don’t need to know what each individual stone on the wall of the castle looks like, we can picture it on our own.
Okay, the first thing I would do is CALM DOWN! You emailed me in all caps. Do you know how many internet etiquette rules you’re breaking by doing that? ONE! Do not type in all caps! I get you’re frustrated, but trust me, you’ll work through it.
All right, are you calm? Good. Now, when typing out person/place/thing descriptors, ask yourself a few questions; Does the reader need to know about this? Is this something that will become relevant to the plot later? Believe it or not, we don’t need to know the thread count of the clothing their wearing.
All joking aside… I think the best way you can break up ram-eating walls of text is to actually turn them into dialogue and omit what isn’t necessary. Let me give you an example:
Then he saw her. Her hair was a lustrous blonde that shimmered in the sunlight. It flowed to the small of her back and tapered off just above her behind.
Take something like that and edit it down to something a little more simple and use it in dialogue:
Toby turned to Mike, “Who is that girl?”
“Which one?”
Toby beckoned to a tall girl coming towards them, “That one with long blonde hair.”
Which example is easier to read? IMHO it’s the second one. It’s broken up and while obviously longer, it’s more engaging and isn’t a huge wall of text. That’s really the best advice I can give you. Slim down what you don’t need to say and have your characters actually talk about it instead of just telling the readers.
What do the other writers on my page think? How do you avoid huge walls of text?
Thanks,
Jim
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
http://www.amazon.com/James-Harrington/e/B00P7FBXTU
Note:
If you have read my books, PLEASE log into Amazon and post a review. I really love to hear everyone’s thoughts and constructive criticisms. Reviews help get my book attention and word of mouth is everything in this business!
Thanks friends!
Catch you on the flip side!
-Jim
James Harringtons Creative Work 
I face the same problem while describing the setting or surrounding. Any advice on how to get past that?
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I would say the same rule applies. Break it up. Figure out how much the reader needs to know and what can be omitted. Then if you’re worried about writing stale paragraphs, make the description dialogue for your characters.
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I think you said it right by breaking up the text with conversation. I always try to take the approach of showing rather then telling while I write too. When I’m introducing a new character I might give them a little set up but most of the time I save some of the details for later in the story.
For example: I introduced a character Milo by giving a few details about his history with my main character Harley. However, the reader learns quickly that they have some tension through a snide comment Milo starts to make but Harley cuts him off before he can finish it. Doing it that way, it allows me to hold out the real reason for their issue. It keeps the reader going to learn more, and 4 or 5 chapters later I can reveal it in a big fight. So through that dialogue I am able to “show” my reader the past and how it is effecting them now.
That’s my 2 cents.
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I ask, what advances the story, or what is important to the story, even if the detail is not important until six chapters later. Everything else is extra. Give the readers some credit for imagination. They may not imagine the dank, dark, and sleazy little bar on the upper east side exactly the way you picture it, but so?
As for characters, we might notice something unusual up front, like the man was a green-skinned giant, and the red-headed woman beside him wore a body hugging black suit that did not hide much… but mostly, we get to know people through conversation and actions (what they do)… and maybe we ask questions… Sometimes we draw wrong conclusions. Sometimes the person offers a verbal correction. In rare-rare instances, the person might offer a confession of sorts; but in any case, in real life, we don’t get a whole page of information up front.
Think of it this way. Curiosity–why does this person talk and act the way they do?– can entice a reader to continue reading. Whereas, knowing all the answers up front can put the reader to sleep.
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Great advice! It’s very tempting to try and pour out description on the page to set a scene, but equally effective to frame the character through their thoughts and actions rather than their clothes and appearance. It might help if you highlighted some distinguishing features of individual characters to mark them out, but if it’s too laden with description, the reader might lose interest.
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