… I don’t want to post this. I REALLY don’t want to post this. As all of you know, a lot of my writing advice and posts lately have been about the realities and forms of evil.
Well if you remember yesterday, I posted about just how rare true evil actually was, and how sometimes even the most evil people believe that what they’re doing is for the greater good…
This isn’t one of those times. This is one of the other times I referred to, a complete and utter breach of everything moral and ethical, a violation of taboo, and… I really can’t say anything else.
To anyone who knows who he is, Sargon of Akkad is a fairly prolific Youtuber who does a great deal of political/social commentary. He’s far from unbiased, I’ll admit, but he does a fairly good job of going after both sides of the…
I know I’ve said this before about bands, but in this case… this MAY be the last Amaranthe track I post. Amaranthe fans have long quarreled over whether the band is trying to be pop, metal, or something in between. This album, while great, is arguably the least metal of the bunch and honestly is starting to sound more like something you’d hear from Miley Cyrus, Pink, or an R&B artist. The harsh vocals seem to be getting less and less time as each album comes out… so I think we have our answer.
There are just so fewer songs on this album that are actually enjoyable compared to it’s predecessors.
That being said… Endlessly… This is almost everything a power ballad should be. The vocals are strong, the blaring guitar solos are incredible, the lyrics are moving, and honestly, if this song doesn’t evoke a strong emotional response… check your pulse, you might be dead.
It’s not completely perfect though, while Elize really shows just how powerful her voice is in this song, I would have held that last note for longer and have it be accompanied by percussion… I know, I know, that’s an old-school trick that we see in many MANY musicals, and ballads, but it would have worked there.
When to listen: Admittedly, I just added this song to my playlist, so I’m not really sure where it will become relevant just yet. However I could see this being worked in as the theme to either a love story or even a tragic romance. Listening to this song, I thought of one of two of the saddest scenes I’d ever written. I invite you to turn on the song while you read these:
From Soul Siphon:
The beam dissipated, leaving Corban in his original form. Sunlight poured into the massive chamber from the surface as he breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Mary, who had finally let go of him, “It’s over, we won!”
Horror overtook Corban’s world when he saw what had happened. Mary was lying on her back looking at him. Her face had gone pale and her hair was fading to match. She was aging at an accelerated rate, “I know we did… you kept your promise.”
“Mary what happened?”
Mary smiled, “I don’t know how, but the rush of energy drained me of the power Adramelech gave me. When you expelled all that power, it dragged my immortality with it.”
“You saved me…”
“Least I could do, yeah?”
“No…”
Xaphine watched from afar as Johnny and Vlad ran over to her, “Mary, no… vat happened!”
Corban looked over at Vlad with tears in his eyes, “She’s dying!”
Mary’s red hair slowly turned white. She reached up to Corban and wiped away the tear that was making its way down his cheek, “No crying, yeah? You kept your promise to me. I couldn’t ask for any more.”
Corban’s breathing intensified as he channeled the energy to his hands again. Vlad looked at him oddly, “Vat are you doing?”
“My power stole her immortality, maybe I can give it back!”
Corban held his right hand over Mary’s head and forced the energy from his hand, creating a force field around her. It flickered for a moment and then disappeared. He tried again with the same result.
Xaphine frowned, “It won’t work.”
“How so?” Corban demanded. “Adramelech’s power gave her this immortality, it can do it again!”
Corban tried a third time, this time holding his power in check. This time, instead of a pulse, his energy formed a beam that shot from his hand and quickly engulfed Mary’s body. It was far brighter than the previous attempts.
Mary lay back with a content look on her face. She was certain that his efforts wouldn’t be enough to save her, but she was happy in that he cared enough to try. Being wanted was a feeling that she’d all but forgotten about.
Corban clenched every muscle in his body. He was in intense pain as the energy drained from his being. Beads of sweat formed on his skin as he pushed. The pain quickly overwhelmed his senses and his hand began to tremble to the point where he was unable to direct the beam correctly. The field around Mary slowly faded away just as the others had.
Corban slammed his fist on the ground, “Damn it, no!”
Mary reached up and touched his face, “It’s okay hero, you tried. It’s okay.”
“That’s not good enough.”
Mary’s hair was almost completely white now. Corban leaned forward and kissed her deeply for as long as he could. When he finally pulled away to catch his breath, Mary could see that tears were pouring from his eyes. He knew that there was no way to save her, “I’m sorry…”
“You did everything you could.”
Scars appeared on her face as she continued to age, “Corban… look away… remember me as I was. I don’t want this to be your last image of me, please.”
Corban held her close, and closed his eyes. Mary looked over at Johnny, “Look after him for me, yeah?”
Johnny lowered his eyes, but did not respond as Mary’s skin ripped itself apart and she began to revert to how she looked after she had been murdered. She released her last breath as the skin on her face was peeled away and her wounds reopened. A second later, her body turned to dust. There was nothing left for Corban to hold on to.
Corban looked down at the small piles of dust on the ground around him, “I love you too…”
From Damnation:
Once Piero had positioned himself against the rock, he used what strength he still had and called to her, “Xaphine, I’m over here! This way!”
Xaphine’s head jerked to the side as she heard his voice. Her heart jumped and she ran towards the sound. Nothing could stop her now that she knew where he was.
Piero saw her appear out of the darkness as she ran toward him. Her eyes darted back and forth until she saw him lying on a rock. She quickly sprinted to him and knelt down.
Tears filled her eyes as she saw how badly injured he was “Piero, my love… my sweet husband…”
Piero smiled at her, “I’m glad you’re here now, at the end.”
“Don’t talk like that, this isn’t the end, it can’t be! You can’t die on me! You went through too much to get me back. You fought so hard, you can’t die here. The Piero I married wouldn’t give up this easily.”
“I fear I don’t have much choice… I can feel my heart beat slowing.”
Xaphine’s breathing increased as she could see Piero was fading fast. He had held out long enough to see her face again, but his strength was almost gone. As he laid his head on the ground and closed his eyes, Xaphine became frantic, “Yes you do, come on fight it!”
Francesco came up behind them. Because of his advanced hearing, he could sense Piero’s heartbeat slowing, “Xaphine… we’re losing him…”
“No, shut up!” She yelled with tears falling down her cheeks, “This isn’t happening! I won’t let it.”
Xaphine pulled Piero’s armor off and tore open his tunic, exposing his chest. She then closed her eyes to center herself, slapped her hands together, and rubbed them until they started glowing yellow in color. Her eyes also began to glow as she prepared what little power she had left.
Francesco’s eyes narrowed as he heard a low hum coming from her hands, “Xaphine, what are you planning on doing?”
“I still have one shard of divinity left to me. I’m going to use it to transfer my life energy to him. It should keep him alive long enough to heal.”
Francesco stepped forward, reaching out for her, “Your life energy?”
“It’s the living spirit within me. If I can transfer a portion of it to him, it may be enough to save him.”
Francesco wasn’t sure he liked this idea, “But won’t that damage you?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never actually seen anyone do this before. It’s a forbidden art. If I use too much though, it will most likely kill me.”
Francesco’s eyes widened, “Xaphine you can’t do this. Piero would not want you risking your life. He fought for you out there today!”
“I know that, but what life is there for me without Piero? I know it’s selfish, but I will not let him die. Death holds no horror for me if the alternative is a life without him and then an eternity in the well.”
Xaphine’s hands glowed brightly as she placed them on Piero’s forehead and chest. She gasped and breathed heavily as the energy left her body. It was painful, but she didn’t care. Nothing could compare to the void that would be left in her chest if he died.
Once Piero’s body stopped convulsing from the impact, she could see that her effort had not changed anything. Piero was still dying. Xaphine shook her head in panic. She rubbed her hands together again and slammed them down on to Piero, “Come on, damn you!”
Francesco could hear the worry in her voice as she spoke, “It’s not working… come on Piero!”
“Breathe!”
Tears began to fall from her eyes as she tried two more times, “Come on, don’t leave me Piero… please!”
The pain was becoming too much for Xaphine. Her wings spread as far as they could and her skin was drenched in sweat. Her breathing became more labored and it became more and more difficult for her lungs to accept air. The world was also beginning to blur while her energy escaped.
As Xaphine continued to pound Piero’s body with her own life-force energy, her skin began to go pale and her hair started showing white lines that became more numerous with each blast of life. She saw what was happening but did not care. Her hands slapped together again and again she hit Piero’s body.
Francesco could now hear only one heartbeat; Xaphine’s. Much to his dismay, it was now also slowing to a halt. Desperate to end this, he put his right hand on Xaphine’s shoulder, “Stop… it’s too late, he’s gone. If you keep this up any longer, it will kill you.”
“Shut up, shut… up!” She screamed, her eyes now bright red. “Do you think I care? As I said, I would rather spend an eternity in the Well of Souls than dwell here without him! It is not too late, it can’t be. – Breath!”
Xaphine slapped her hands together again. Each time she did this, the glow on her hands dimmed slightly. Her skin was now a ghostly white, she was impoverished, and her features had withered. All that was left was little more than a skeleton as the life force drained from her body. The lines on her face made her almost unrecognizable and her eyes were shaded as though she had not slept in years.
“Breathe!”
Francesco listened helplessly as her own breathing became more and more labored. Sorrow filled his heart as he listened to yet another friend dying, “Please Xaphine, do you think that Piero would want this? You need to stop! He would want you to live!”
Xaphine ignored Francesco’s pleas as tears rolled down her cheeks. She breathed heavily as she brushed the snow white hair from her face and rubbed her hands together one more time. As she slammed her hands down on her husband’s lifeless body, she let out a loud grunt. Her heart rate had slowed to a crawl and it had become almost impossible for her to draw a full breath.
“Breathe!”
No longer possessing the energy to hold herself up, she collapsed on to Piero’s chest sobbing. Her husband’s skin was no longer warm and soft like it was when he first touched her. Laying her head over his heart could not sooth her anymore and her life was all but spent. She was a corpse. Though still breathing, her body was already dead. There was no going back.
“Please… breathe…”
Francesco shook his head as he sat down behind them, “How could it have come to this? We did everything we could. Xaphine has been saved, Lucifer has been destroyed, and we even made it back in time to warn the Republic. Oh Lord, have we done something to anger you in some way? This does not seem just.”
Xaphine shook her head, “It’s no good…”
She slowly released her breath, convinced that her body wouldn’t accept many more, “I’m so sorry, my love… you were so strong for me. Even when I told you there was no hope, you refused to listen. You were stubborn and kept fighting. You did all that for me… you were magnificent, but I don’t have the power left to save you…”
Francesco felt tears fall from his eyes at hearing such sad words, “Xaphine… I’m… sorry.”
Xaphine shook her head as she weakly turned to Francesco, “You’ve been most kind to us. You gave my husband hope, and gave me back my happy life. You have nothing to apologize for.”
She sucked in a deep breath, “This is my punishment. My arrogance and ambition… I thought being damned to the underworld was as bad as things could get, but that was nothing compared to the torment I face now. The Most High must have known this would happen. He would have known that eventually I would see the light… that I would find happiness, only to have it ripped away from me. He must have…”
Xaphine looked up into the night sky. The streams of tears on her cheeks sparkled in the moonlight, “Lord Most High, what more do you want of me? I understand now… I get it, you win. I was such a fool and I accept responsibility for the mistakes I made. Why take him away when he has done no wrong?”
Xaphine lowered her eyes and clasped the gem on her chest, “Were you hoping that I would suffer? Was that your plan?”
Her eyes once again looked up at the stars as she screamed, “Well it worked! I’m hurting now, worse than ever. You’ve made your point. Please, take my soul… commit me to the Well, or if you would prefer, allow Dēofol to torment me for all eternity, but please give Piero back his life. It’s not fair for you to punish him to further torment me. All he wanted was to bring back the one he loved. You mustn’t consider that a sin!”
Silence.
Xaphine waited a few more painful moments. When no response came to her weak voice, she shook her head slowly, “You’re still not willing to compromise? Then forgive me, my lord… I beg your indulgence, but I must defy you one… last… time…”
Xaphine touched her husband’s cheek and kissed him, “Piero, my husband… I love you.”
She rubbed her hands together again. This time, only one hand glowed and it was very dim, “One last drop… all I have left to give… for everything you’ve given me…”
Francesco shook his head, “Xaphine, please… don’t do it…”
Xaphine ignored Francesco and raised her hand to Piero’s chest. As she was about to force the last bit of energy she had into his lifeless body, she kissed her husband’s cheek again, “Goodbye… my love…”
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
HELP!!! I’M TRYING TO WRITE A SEQUEL, BUT I CAN’T COME UP WITH ANYTHING! I JUST DON’T HAVE THE SAME INSPIRATION WITH THESE CHARACTERS AS I DID IN THE FIRST BOOK! I GET HALF WAY THROUGH, AND JUST CAN’T SEEM TO GET THROUGH IT BECAUSE IT BADLY CHANGES THE CHARACTERS PERSONALITIES AND THE DYNAMIC OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS!
DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE???
THANKS,
KHIMBAY
Hi Khimbay,
First of all, you don’t have to shout. Do you know how many internet etiquette laws you’re breaking by typing in all caps? You’re breaking one; Do Not Type In All Caps!
Okay, on to your question… I’m in the same boat. I know that there has been a lot of people asking about Soul Siphon’s sequel and I tried to give the audience what they wanted. However I couldn’t get anywhere with it…
What was holding me up? Well for starters, I spent a lot of time writing Mary Kelly. I was very careful to portray her in a way I think would be like who the actual historical MK was… if she was resurrected and lived for another 130 years. However I couldn’t replicate that in the second story. Why? Because all the mystery behind her was gone. We know about her soft side now, we know that her bitterness was shield against her own problems. I kept trying, but I wasn’t happy with how she was coming out.
The second issue was writing the devil. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get her (yes, HER) right. I wanted her to be flamboyant, outgoing, and an all-around like-able character, but that came off too much like a certain TV show we all know and most of us love.
So I tried again with the devil, trying to make her lose her memory so that the one lacking her previous history isn’t even and the group is left with the moral conundrum of what to do with the devil, who may not actually be the devil. Again, it went nowhere and I couldn’t get her right in a way that would have made people like her.
So… sorry everybody, the Soul Siphon series is… at this point in time, defunct. Will I revisit the universe at some point, yes. I still have things l’d like to do there, but I doubt it’ll be in the form of a direct sequel.
So… unfortunately Khimbay, I can’t help you as I don’t have an answer to this problem either. My solution is to simply wash my hands of the whole situation and simply say ‘That’s it, no more direct sequels.’
This is something I did with Damnation. I refused to drag the characters from Divinity back out into another adventure when the characters already been possessed, beaten, one had been tortured, raped, and murdered, while the others had been put through LITERAL Hell. I know they’re characters that I just made up, but to me, that’s just cruel, and I’ve honestly seen how mean-spirited writing hurts a story.
However, I knew I wanted to do a follow-up to show the effects of what happened in Divinity and needed to find a way around that. So I created new characters and wrote a whole new story around the events of the previous novel. Yes, a few of the old characters made appearances, but they were strictly cameos.
I’m actually planning on doing the same thing with Drakin: The Story of Raiya after its published. There will be other stories (hopefully many) that take place in the same world. Yes characters from The Story of Raiya may make appearances (if they survive), and will get honorable mentions, but the follow-up stories will not be about them. A post-apocalyptic world where humanity is recovering from literal decades of bloodshed to the point where they were facing extinction, opens up the possibility to a plethora of stories that can be created. The potential is there and the characters are waiting to be written… and I personally can’t wait. I plan on spending a lot of time in that world. Who knows, maybe we’ll see a familiar face or two along the way.
So that’s my advice to you, Khimbay and I apologize for going off-topic a little. If you don’t want to write a direct sequel, but do want to do a follow-up? Write a new story in the same universe. It’s technically still a sequel.
Hope this helps, but maybe our readers have other ideas, so I’ll open it up to the floor. What does everyone think? Do you have advice for Khimbay? Let me know in the comments.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
Perhaps it’s time for Marvel to consider ceasing production of its comics. I think we’ve gotten to that point. They’ve pretty much proven that they don’t know what they’re doing anymore or they’ve taken on the disastrous business model of trying to appeal to extreme political ideologues who are too busy being offended by things to read comics.
I mean it’s bad enough that they keep altering their characters with no Rhyme or Reason or explanation in the name of diversity, but to then accuse all of their readers of being racist for not liking this, it’s just really telling of how out-of-touch these creators actually are. Now they’re even pulling a Paul feig and attacking the people who sell their comics with accusations of bigotry.
Diversity is and always will be a great thing, but that’s only if it’s actual diversity. Wiping one group of people off the pages to make way for another group is not diversity.
Example: Marvel did a run of the X-Men where the team was all women. That’s not diversity that’s gender segregation. Essentially they took a team that had characters from nearly every region on Earth, as well as a fairly balanced gender percentage, and made it less diverse in the name of diversity.
Stan Lee and Chris Claremont, both pain the idea to age out their old and create new ones to replace them as time went on and the need arose. This would have enabled Marvel to bring in far more characters from Minority backgrounds that they otherwise wouldn’t have. This would also have had a lot less people taking issue with it. Instead they took the disastrous approach of altering characters with no explanation other than it’s an alternate universe we can do what we want. Well you can to a point, but once you’ve reached the majority of your audiences suspension of disbelief, you’ve gone too far. What’s worse is that Marvel apparently doesn’t know how to write these characters. I’ve read some of the Iceman comics, and they are so stereotypical that I can’t imagine any homosexual person reading them wouldn’t be offended.
America Chavez has been openly criticized for being offensive in a stereotypical manner towards Latinos. So their efforts to become more diverse by throwing what they considered diversity in people’s faces, they’ve actually created archetypal stereotypes of actual characters, that could easily be compared to their respective representations version of black face.
The problem is that these writers do not treat these characters as people. They treat them as a means to promote an agenda. As a result though this may not be the intention, they’re not seen nor treated as people. Thus they are never viewed as equal in the eyes of the other characters or in the readers.
This was not the case in the old comics. Yes they had their problems but for the most part every character was treated as a person. They were looked at as living breathing people first, and while they’re superficial traits were addressed they did not take Center Stage. Instead the focus was on telling a good story.
Marvel Comics has, for all intensive purposes lost this ability. Every single Marvel subscription that I have had through my local retailer, I have cancelled after a few comics for this reason. The story simply aren’t good, the politics is in your face and offensively preachy, and Marvel either doesn’t seem to care or doesn’t understand that. So while I think Marvel for seven decades of great stories, I think I’ll be sticking to independent comic books and in some cases DC for my reading material.
My only advice to Marvel going forward would be to keep the writers working on your Comics away from your Cinematic Universe. It is pretty much the only thing keeping you afloat at this point.
But that’s just my opinion, readers what do you think? Is it time for Marvel to cut ties with the comic book industry? Has their day in the Sun come and gone? Can they bounce back? Let me know in the comments.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
I’ve followed your postings for a while through WordPress, and was wondering if you had any advice for jumpstarting crowdfunding for publishing a novel.
I currently have a novel-length project on Unbound.com that, despite some initially generous support from family and friends, has been stuck at the 20% mark for months, and the well of (ideally free) options for promoting it is dried up, or so it seems. I used to provide regular updates that included details about the characters and backstory, but I feel I’ve reached the point where I can’t share anything more without spoiling the novel, and I wasn’t getting much of a response anyway. One thought that’s come to mind (thanks to your writing playlist posts) is to include Youtube lyric or music video links to songs from the multiple playlists I go through when working on a project (Random Mix, Soundtracks, Classical, etc.). Has the playlist posting approach worked for you in terms of drawing attention to your project(s), and if so, would you be bothered if I adopted a similar method? And what other venues or sites would you recommend for trying to reach more readers and donors?
It’s an age-old problem to be sure. How do you attract an audience. Well to be honest there are a lot of ways. Your crowdfunding page certainly caught my attention, but really word of mouth is everything. For starters, I would update your kickstarter listing. Offer autographed copies as a perk. Collectors (like myself) love that sort of thing. We eat it up and… given how much I spent on a Lady Mechanika #1 that is autographed by the writer and artist (no I will not give a dollar amount), we’re willing to spend more on them… even if the artist is start up.
Second, I would update the kickstarter to include “advertising” as to where the funding goes. If you’ve really exhausted all other options, then you are going to need to put some money into advertising whether you like it or not. Fortunately there are plenty of advertising companies that can help you for fairly cheap. Amazon is really a great place to do it as many of their ads show up on Audible and that’s often how I find new books to read.
So I also took a look at your page as well and I don’t mean this in a negative way, but I found it wanting. What I mean by that is that you have no footer, nowhere on there other than your Amazon page where people can interact with you or get updates other than WordPress… This is very important because… most readers typically don’t have wordpress accounts. They come here for the articles, but most won’t be writing anything.
Go into wordpress, got to ‘My Site> Configure> Sharing.
If yours doesn’t look like mine (yes I know, I need to update the Linkedin one), then you’re not doing everything you can to advertise your work or yourself. Sign up for an account on each of these and spend a few hours here and there reaching out to people. Comment on the things they post, off your opinion, and/or offer help (like I do here). This is how you build a community and gain yourself a following.
A few weeks of doing this gained me a few thousand followers and a considerable boost in traffic to my pages.
The playlist has definitely gained me a following, mostly of writers looking for something to listen to while they brainstorm, but it has helped. This isn’t a method I have copyrighted or anything, so if you feel like it could help you, go for it.
Anyway, I hope some of these ideas help, but let’s open it up to the community;
Readers, do you have any ideas that could help Mark spread word of his new book??
Thanks,
Jim
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
So we’re doing very well so far and it looks like the late November/Early December release of Drakin is not unrealistic. We’re about half way through our edits and the covers are complete.
The book will be available in hard and soft cover, as well as in digital format. I’m personally very excited, and I hope all of you are as well!
Book Synopsis:
‘ “Abomination, freak, monster…” You get used to names like these when you have yellow eyes, horns, and scales, but Raiya could have really cared less.
After being forced into exile because of her appearance, Raiya’s mind has been focused on one goal; hunting down the dragon lord that killed her parents. For over thirty years, humanity has been locked in a struggle for survival against a race of dragons that had fallen from the heavens. They took everything from her and consumed the planet in a fierce war. Humanity’s numbers are quickly dwindling, leaving her few options in the way of allies.
What she doesn’t know is that her journey will strike at the very heart of the Red War and uncover truths about her past that she may not want to know. Can she finish what she started while coming to terms with the truths of her origin? ‘
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
For the record, I didn’t want to do this review, but I’ve had a few people email me and ask me for my opinion on it based on my Orville review… so apparently my input into this show is not voluntary.
I finally got to watch the pilot in its entirety last night. My wife just cancelled her All Access subscription because… well there’s nothing of interest on there… but I still had about a week left.
Let me preface this whole thing by saying that my fandom of Star Trek is akin to an on-again-off-again romance. There are things about it I love (TOS, TNG Season 2 onward, etc.), and there are things I don’t (Last Season of Enterprise, first four seasons of DS9… the Bajorans in general, etc.)
I started out on Wrath of Khan and went from there. I loved it and got hooked. So I am a fan, but not a super fan. Even so, I really wanted to like this show. I know I’ve posted criticisms before, but I really wanted this show to be good… like really badly.
Sadly… my overall impression of the show from the start was dead on. Most of the characters we meet are cardboard cutouts of actual characters. There was little to no development, and even the conversations were nothing like what real people would say to one another.
So what was wrong with it? Well first, let’s talk about Michael…
She was a human raised by Sarek after her parents were killed by Klingons. Though human, she at first acts like a vulcan, but as the show progressed, that quickly changed. However… the fact that she is the lead character is extremely concerning…
I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about Michael… because frankly… she makes every stupid decision you could make. She should have taken a page out of George Castanza’s book and done the opposite of what she thought was right.
When you boil it down to the bare bones, she is the reason everybody gets killed. Her decisions and her… almost desire to fight the Klingons is what started the whole thing. Every decision, every action she made can directly be attributed to the deaths of literally thousands of people.
I’m sorry, it’ll be a shark-jumping moment if she ever gets her own command. That she’s actually going to be an officer on another ship has frankly breached my suspension of disbelief.
She has absolutely no common sense what so ever. The writers really fucked up here, because frankly, she’s completely unlikable. So honestly, her being sent off to prison after being convicted of several crimes is an excellent closer. You don’t really need to watch anything else.
I’d comment on the other characters individually, but frankly… they almost all died. So screw it.
The sets…
Obviously a lot of money is spent on visuals in this show. It’s impressive… but for one, it doesn’t fit the time period, two it’s sensory overload. There was literally too much in each frame and each shot. It was waaaaay too much. Honestly the sets just looked like something out of Abrams JJ-verse. That wouldn’t be a bad thing if it took place there, but it didn’t.
The Klingons…
These are not Klingons… I’m sorry, they’re not. Visually, they were so displeasing that I couldn’t stand to look at them for long. I found myself looking away when they were on screen. The Klingon language was tooth-grindingly bad…
The religion they came up with for the Klingons didn’t fit either… Klingons view dead bodies as empty shells after they let out there death roar. They didn’t embalm them nor did they have any sort of ritualistic funeral ceremony. It was one loud cry that was it.
So yeah… I can’t stand them…
The ships…
Okay, the Federation ships I could kind of see because they look like Star fleet though they look like Star fleet from a much much more futuristic time. They actually look like they’d be right at home in Star Trek Online which takes place post-nemesis. The Klingon ships however were thoroughly unrecognizable. They don’t match up with Enterprise or the original series… or anything else for that matter. They look like Kilrathi ships from Wing Commander.
The story…
The story was dull and unimpressive. Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. Nothing was reasonable, nothing was relate-able, and worst of all, nothing was believable. It was a paper thin premise cloaked in effects, nothing more.
In short… I hated it. I’m not going to pay for CBS Access on the off chance that they’re going to improve things somewhere down the line. My suspension of disbelief has been breached. I’m done with this.
But Jim, if it’s so bad… how do you explain the good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes?
First of all, I’ve always found the audience scores to be far more telling. Secondly, I’ll explain them the same way the Ghostbusters 2016 reviews were. Given what this show was played up to be by Bryan Fuller, the politics that surround it, the agenda behind it, etc. The critics are far too spineless in this case. No one wants to be the critic who gives the show a bad review, because they don’t want to be at the forefront of the blow back that would result.
That’s not just a theory either. Go read their reviews, they go into detail about several of the flaws in the show, but they stop short of coming out and calling it bad. You can tell they’re trying to dance around it.
This isn’t Star Trek. I know it’s just my opinion, but I’m right here. This isn’t Gene’s original philosophy or views. This isn’t anything that anyone wanted to see. It could have easily worked had it been post-nemesis, but that’s not what happened. I don’t have any expectations for this show because frankly, I do not care. The opening was terrible and I’m out. I’m not paying to see what happened.
As far as I’m concerned it was a complete story, a rogue, incompetent, officer get’s a ton of people killed, she get’s court-martialed and locked up. I’m satisfied with that.
Anyway, what do you all think of the show? Was it good/bad/Do you not care? Let me know.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
I really don’t know what else to call this, but it applies to writing as well as film making. I’ve always found it quite vexing when something happens off screen like during the plot or between stories.
Too often, we see characters killed off between a movie and its sequel with little to no explanation. Usually in movies, this is done because either the actor who played the character died, or there were budgetary concerns, etc. I wouldn’t mind so much, but we see this happen in books as well. Too often there is a character or a major plot point that happens between the stories and we never get to hear the how or why.
It the book is intended to take the reader back in time to see how things got the way they did in a sort of flashback manner, that’s one thing. I get that, but too often that is not what we get. In other cases in movies as well, we see characters who solved mysteries, identified people, or came up with some new idea off-screen, and its never explained how that happened.
I love the idea of leaving some things up to the reader to figure out, but there’s a difference between pinholes and black holes. Don’t over explain, but don’t leave something in a way that it comes out of the blue with no precedence.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
Well slap me silly, YouTube actually recommended a decent song. This is actually kind of close to Dragonforce… so Lady Dragonforce? Who cares, its good stuff.
When to listen: This is typically what I listen to when I drive. I love it. General playlist. It’ll help get the ideas flowing.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
As a writer… I’m always vexed when the issue of Freedom of Speech comes up.
There has been a lot of talk lately about protected speech vs. unprotected speech, as well as when physical violence is acceptable and when it isn’t. I’d like to try to tackle this without getting into a massive political diatribe, because that frankly helps no one.
Now often times, I hear people defending the free speech of people like Neo Nazis, the KKK, White Supremecists, 3rd Wave Feminists, Anarcho-Communists, and BLMs, among other groups that are either hate groups or people of questionable morals. The thing that really irks me is that there are people out there who see fit to shut these people down either by violence, fear, ruining their careers, or simply silencing them on social media.
The problem is that when someone tries to speak up and say ‘well wait a minute, these people are disgusting and horrible, but they’re not attempting to incite, they’re saying what they believe. They have every right to do that!’ They are immediately lumped in with said groups, accused of defending them and their position.
Defending someone’s position is when you try to justify the remarks they make. It is coming up with facts and arguments that support their cause. That is not what these people do. These people do not come up with any defense of hate or intolerance, in point of fact they are fighting against it. They are literally saying, “We don’t agree with their position, but you trying to shut them down through violence or intimidation, you are putting yourselves on their level.”
That is not the same thing, not by a long shot.
I can’t speak for Europe or other countries, but in the United States, yes hate speech is protected speech. Anything that does not incite a person to violence and does not infringe on another person’s rights, is PROTECTED under the First Amendment. People have the right to voice their opinion and their ideas free of prosecution and free of being attacked.
The First Amendment and the right to freedom of speech is arguably the most important right we have. It is not only a tool against tyranny, it is also an effective weapon against hate.
Jim, you’re being disingenuous! They just want to restrict it for White Supremacists!
I’m actually not being disingenuous and I left that out intentionally. You see… the full title reads as follows;
Poll: Most California Democrats want to restrict free speech from white nationalists
The ‘for white nationalists’ part is a qualifying statement…
qual·i·fi·er
ˈkwäləˌfī(ə)r/
noun
1.
a person or team that qualifies for a competition or its final rounds.
“he is now 14 and trying to become the youngest qualifier for a PGA Tour event”
2.
GRAMMAR
a word or phrase, especially an adjective, used to attribute a quality to another word, especially a noun.
In other words any qualifier could apply, thus without it, the headline still rings true. You are restricting freedom of speech.
The issue here is who decides what is hate speech and what isn’t?
People like this:
You might as well tear up the constitution right now. Also, who decides which people are white nationalists? Who decides who among the population are Nazis? Who decides who are communists or feminists?
Right now, there are large group of people indiscriminately attacking people who don’t agree with their narrow view and label them all across the board as Nazis. Are they to make that decision?
Case in point, in a modern society where context is so important, you can’t govern what speech is acceptable anymore than we already have. Speech that will incite violence and get someone physically hurt is the limit to what you can prosecute. Any more than that and you’re guaranteed to wrongly infringe on someone’s rights.
This isn’t a scholarly quote, but the writers of Star Trek TNG were absolutely correct when they coined the phrase;
“With the first link, the chain is forged, for speech censored, first thought forbidden, first freedom denied, binds us all irrevocably. Those words were uttered as wisdom and warning. Anytime a man’s freedom is trodden on, we’re all damaged.”
The Supreme Court has been very clear on this legally. For the right to speak, and the right to hold ideas to have any meaning, we cannot discriminate based on content or on viewpoint, because if we do, any speech or any idea is not beyond the chopping block.
If you believe in the tenants of Free Speech, then you believe that they must apply unilaterally and cannot be selectively revoked, because then its no longer freedom of speech at all. If we cannot hold up the one core value of the first amendment, then it may as well be scrapped.
So if we damage ourselves by trying to ban hate speech, how do we combat it?
The same way you combat anything else. With other ideas. I hate using this example, but let’s consider for a minute… what would have happened in Charlottesville had counter-protesters and ANTIFA not shown up? Well what’s happened at past KKK and White Supremacy rallies? Usually 2-3 hunderd people would show up, spout their nonsense and bile, and disappear within a few hours. They would be quickly forgotten and that would be the end of them.
This did not happen…
By championing attacking people based on their personal beliefs, by trying to legally or physically silence them, you are giving them what they want. You are turning them into martyrs, and making the additional mistake of lumping anyone who questions your methods in with them, you are swelling their ranks. How? Simple… there are people out there who lean the same way they do. They’re on the same side of the spectrum, but not quite at the extreme. Then they see what you’re doing and what you believe… well that’s not good, not at all. So in some of the more teetering cases, they’re going to lock hands with those hateful people because in their mind, YOU ARE THE GREATER EVIL!
I don’t know that I’d agree with that, but at the very least, you’re just as bad. These people show intolerance for other people based on a race, ethnicity, or gender. You are showing intolerance for ideas you don’t agree with.
As I said above, the best way to combat bad ideas is with good ideas. If you want to counter protest, then fine, great. Go to one of these rallies or protests. Go up to one of the people you don’t agree with and actually talk to them. Understand why they think the way they do, get some context and understanding. Once you have that, you can better challenge their world-view and understanding because you understand it a little better.
This is how the First Amendment works and why it has worked so well. In the United States, hate movements have been reduced to a few hundred people per event. There’s a reason why those numbers have begun to swell… because groups that attack them, essentially give up the moral high ground and reduce themselves to these people’s level. Thus, you are proving their point.
Allow me the luxury of an example…
I once sat down and had a conversation with someone who was against the removal of the Confederate Flag, against the removal of the statues, Robert E. Lee was a good man who should be honored, and professed that the Civil War was not about slavery.
When I asked her why she felt the way she did, she very eloquently justified each of her points…
The Confederate Flag wasn’t a national flag. It was a military banner, rejected as the national flag by the Confederate Government. It’s use today wasn’t meant to spread hate, but to honor those soldiers who had fallen in battle.
The statues shouldn’t be removed for the same reason. These people fought for their land. Just because the reason for raising succession may have been slavery, but not everyone in the South owned slaves and may who didn’t, viewed what was going on in Washington as an attack on their sovereignty.
Robert E Lee was part of the U.S. military before the war. He opposed succession, but when it was democratically decided on, he viewed it as his duty to defend the people of his state. Back then before social media and nation-wide events, people were more loyal to their locality than they were a national government.
I had to admit I was surprised. There was nothing hateful about what she was saying and, while I don’t agree with a lot of her points, I understood better. I responded by letting her know that I didn’t agree. Most of the statues should be removed because they were put up during the Jim Crow era in an effort to disenfranchise former slaves. Honoring one’s history is one thing, weaponizing it is something else all together and should not be tolerated.
I also noted that Robert E. Lee didn’t want any monuments to himself. This was documented. I couldn’t comment on her points about succession. I’m not a Southerner, nor did I live back the, so I can’t comment on the validity of her belief of why people fought in the war. I do know that there is quite a bit of documentation out there to suggest that people were far more loyal to their localities than to the nation as a whole, but I’ll leave that for someone with a little more scholarship on the matter to dissect. The Civil War was never an era I was particularly interested in.
She actually didn’t know about the Jim Crow era history of those statues and conceded my point. I don’t know if I changed her mind or not, but we had a good discussion and walked away with a better understanding of why we both believed what we did. No fists, no angered words, no nothing like that.
That is how you combat ideas!
NO WAY! I am not sitting down with some hateful bigot! They’re not worth my time and you cannot change people like that!
Well… that’s unfortunate… because that’s the only way you learn and grow. By dismissing these people, you’re not only doing a disservice to them, but to yourself as well. You can’t fight an ideology or belief if you’re not willing to engage with it. You can’t defeat a bad idea by ignoring it, and you can’t stop an opponent by banning them.
To quote Nelson Mandela;
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Defending a group’s right to share their thoughts and ideas, regardless of the content, does not equate to agreeing with said thoughts or ideas.
This is a simple concept that has been lost in recent years.
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
If you’re s Star Trek fan, likely you’ve heard about the controversies surrounding Star Trek Discovery. If not… check out the Midnight’s Edge video. It does a pretty good job of outlining all of the problems:
I’ve been asking people to give this show a chance. It might not be the political browbeating Social Justice Trek that a lot of fans, myself included, fear it will be. However… after comments from Jason Isaacs saying that he doesn’t care about pissing off fans, and the writers saying that they’re targeting half the population as comparing Trump supporters to the disarrayed Klingon empire… I’m quickly losing what little faith I had. I’m not a Trump support, but I don’t really think that this was the political agenda that Roddenberry had in mind for Star Trek.
Anyway, that aside… Star Treks fans are feeling a little displaced right now. Though Star Trek Discovery has not come out yet, many people… and rumor has it, the studio, have already written off the series.
The good news is that there is hope! Seth McFarlane has been a card-carrying Trekkie for a long time. His fandom reached epic proportions to the point where he actually did a cameo on Enterprise. He’s wanted to work on a Star Trek style series for years, and this is what he came up with.
I watched the Orville pilot and, without giving anything away, I wanted to give my overall thoughts on it.
This is not really a cerebral show, at least not anywhere near what Star Trek is. The special effects are impressive and you can really feel a Star Trek influence here. There are multiple Easter Eggs within the series, including former Star Trek actors.
One thing I want to make very clear, THIS IS A COMEDY! It’s expected to be lighthearted and, given Seth McFarlane’s previous work, somewhat juvenile. However many of the jokes are adult in nature, and while I wouldn’t say this is necessarily appropriate for all audiences, it’s relatively harmless fun.
Any negatives?
It’s a little too early on to say. We’ve only seen the pilot and so far I’ve loved what I’ve seen. However I do have a few concerns. First of all, most if not all of Seth’s other works wore out their welcome fast. Family Guy lost its charm after Season 5 and has completely worn out its welcome. McFarlane seems to get caught up in his own desire to see how far he can take shock humor, and his work suffers as a result. I can see that happening here.
Second issue: Seth McFarlane is political and always has been. He makes no secret of it and has a tendency to work it into his other shows. I’m not saying its going to happen here, but if it does, The Orville could fall into the same trap as STD. That being said, after Trump’s election, he posted a statement online criticizing the very brand of politics that is turning people off to Star Trek Discovery. So this may be unlikely. McFarlane seems to have a level head on his shoulders. Time will tell here.
Third Issue: For some reason, many studios see Sci Fi series as box office poison, as a lover of both Firefly and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, I worry about this show lasting more than a few seasons.
Anyway, if you haven’t seen the show yet, give it a whirl. It is available on Hulu as well! Let me know your thoughts in the comments! Is this show the fall-back for disenfranchised Star Trek fans?
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
I don’t know what to do. I saw your blog recently and thought I’d ask here. Recently, I’ve seen some of my work appearing on a site where someone blogged it. I was planning on publishing that work on Amazon and this person appears to be giving it away for free while making AD revenue. What should I do?
Thanks,
Lillian
Hi Lillian,
First things first, remain calm. There is a lot here that needs to be considered. I am an attorney, so I can only give you a high-level overview here. Please don’t take what I say as legitimate legal advice.
First, do they just have your work in its entirety published on their site or are the putting snip-its of it up and doing commentary?
If its the latter, there may not be anything you can do. That may fall under fair use if they’re doing a parody or reviewing your work.
So what is fair use?
In short, per US copyright law, the doctrine of fair use allows that brief excerpts of copyright material may, under certain circumstances, be quoted verbatim for purposes such as criticism, news reporting, teaching, and research, without the need for permission from or payment to the copyright holder.
You’ll want to see if what they’ve done falls under that. If so, you can (politely) ask them to remove it. Most ethical writers will do so without argument… however they aren’t really under any obligation to. So do not be surprised if they refuse or do not respond.
Now if we’re talking about just stealing your story in its entirety and posting it, that’s something different all together. They are profiting off your work, hurting your profits, and they should not get away with that. One question I have is whether or not you have your work registered with the U.S Copyright Office?
This isn’t mandatory, but I usually tell people it is a good idea for a plethora of reasons. Copyright protection technically exists from the moment the work is created in a tangible medium. However, registration provides a few important benefits, such as proof of ownership. Likely no court will hear your case, no will any site owner act on a claim without proof of ownership. So you’re likely going to need to do that first.
That said, before doing anything else… please, please, please, CONTACT A LAWYER!!! Get someone professional who knows the nuances of the law working for you. Do not do anything until you do. I cannot stress this enough. Any action, including contacting the perpetrator, could jeopardize your chances in court.
I hope this helps in some small way. Readers, do you have any further advice for Lillian? Let her know in the comments!
Readers,
Do you have a question about writing, publishing, my stories, etc? Please feel free to post a comment or email me.
jimthewritingwizard@gmail.com
I’ll use those comments to select my next blog post.
I have been writing for several years, have 4 published works, experience with publishing and independent work, so I can hopefully be of assistance.
Please note, I only do one of these a day and will do my best to respond to everyone, but it may take some time.
Also, feel free to check out my works of Fantasy and Historical Fiction, Available on Amazon and where ever books are sold. See the link below:
James Harringtons Creative Work 